Jimmy Fallon Quotes
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Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
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I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.
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I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with.
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I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.
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I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.
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I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff's going to be dragged up and, you know, I'll be like, 'Wait, what?'
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My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass.
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Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.
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I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.
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Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'
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Honestly, it's the greatest show on television. It's live. It's topical. It makes you laugh. It's just a great vibe.
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I want to be a dad. That's floating to the top of my list. I think it's such an important thing. I'm at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, 'Is it like a puppy?' And they go, 'It's 10 times a puppy.'
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Thank you... 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce 'gubernatorial.'
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I don't want to admit it, but I do enjoy the feedback from the audience. It's instant feedback. It's like, you could do a movie, shoot it for a year, wait six months, it comes out and you gotta do three weeks of marketing. Three weeks of that, and everyone goes, 'It sucks.'
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I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.
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Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.
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I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.
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I like doing energetic things.
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Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.
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There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.
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They got a great performance from me. I was happy.
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I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
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I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.