John Oliver Quotes

My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.

John Oliver

• People
• Help
• Journey
• Daily
• Green
• Immigration
• Lawyer

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I just have a connection with sign language. I always thought the deaf community was a different community to be a part of. In high school, me and my friend took sign language.

  

  Zach LaVine
  • Different
  • School
  • High

• Capitalist production, therefore, develops technology, and the combining together of various processes into a social whole, only by sapping the original sources of all wealth - the soil and the labourer.

  

  Karl Marx
  • Together
  • Technology
  • Wealth

• You must remind yourself at all times that the golf ball is nothing. It's an object. It's something to be swatted and sometimes lost and not even looked for.

  

  Dan Jenkins
  • Lost
  • Yourself
  • Golf

• I am a little obsessed with surprise kitty.

  

  Hannah Simone
  • Surprise
  • Obsessed
  • Kitty

• I don't think I've ever sent a text to Gordon Brown because I'm confident that he would absolutely have no idea how to receive it. He barely managed to master WordPerfect 4.1.

  

  Ed Balls
  • Think
  • Idea
  • Text

• Turn your attention for a while away from the worries and anxieties. Remind yourself of all your many blessings.

  

  Ralph Marston
  • Attention
  • Yourself
  • Turn

• Most Americans have no memory of the designs Franklin Roosevelt's New Dealers had for postwar-American foreign policy. Human rights, self-determination and an end to European colonization in the developing world, nuclear disarmament, international law, the World Court, the United Nations - these were all ideas of the progressive left.

  

  Kai Bird
  • World
  • American
  • Law

• Two hundred years ago, our precursors in Haiti struck a blow for freedom, which was heard around the world, and across centuries.

  

  Baldwin Spencer
  • World
  • Freedom
  • Years

• I never try to follow a trend or fashion.

  

  Victoria Beckham Spice Girls
  • Fashion
  • Never
  • Try

• I couldn't do any of my other characters, you know? But I could have done the lady. Church Lady's Malibu Beach party is an idea I have for a movie, too. Yes.

  

  Dana Carvey
  • Done
  • Movie
  • Know

• A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used.

  

  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
  • Time
  • May
  • Thought

• This is how to avoid re-creating painful situations: Take the time to discover your real intention before you act. If it is to change someone or the world so that you will feel safe or better about yourself, don't act on it, because it is an intention of fear and can create only painful consequences.

  

  Gary Zukav
  • Time
  • World
  • Real

• Biggie has been the logo for success, the logo for doing it big - from popping champagne, the ladies, the fashion.

  

  Fat Joe
  • Success
  • Fashion
  • Doing

• I personally have a pretty open philosophy about trying to talk to the press, and so does Dan Bartlett.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Trying
  • Pretty
  • Philosophy

• I trained in medicine in India, and after that, I chose psychiatry as my specialty, much to the dismay of my mother and all my family members who kind of thought neurosurgery would be a more respectable option for their brilliant son.

  

  Vikram Patel
  • Family
  • Mother
  • Son

• There have always been arguments showing that free will is an illusion: some based on hard physics, others based on pure logic.

  

  Ted Chiang
  • Free
  • Logic
  • Illusion

• I feel like if you enjoyed the 119 hours that precede the finale of 'Lost,' is that whole experience ruined by the fact that you might not agree with everything that we did in the finale? I would hope not! I would hope that you would appreciate the fact that you were entertained for 119 hours even if you didn't love the finale.

  

  Carlton Cuse
  • Love
  • Experience
  • Hope

• I would be content if I had nothing but a tape-recorder. I could still write songs and record them.

  

  Barry Gibb Bee Gees
  • Write
  • Nothing
  • Content

• Most people are living a life they don't like. They go to work where they don't want to work.

  

  Diego Luna
  • People
  • Life
  • Work

• People pushing the idea that everyone can live to be 100 are perpetuating a myth that goes all the way back to the Bible.

  

  S. Jay Olshansky
  • People
  • Live
  • Bible

• Undoubtedly many more people in the world are concerned with sports than with human rights.

  

  Samuel P. Huntington
  • People
  • World
  • Sports

• There are times when the voice of repining is completely drowned out by various louder voices: the voice of government, the voice of taste, the voice of celebrity, the voice of the real world, the voice of fear and force, the voice of gossip.

  

  Alice Oswald
  • World
  • Real
  • Fear

• You're quite right there," he said. "I have practiced abstinence myself for years, and had my time of fasting, too, but now I find myself once more beneath the sign of Aquarius, a dark and humid constellation.

  

  Hermann Hesse
  • Time
  • Abstinence
  • Consternation

• My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.

  

  John Oliver
  • People
  • Help
  • Journey