George Bernard Shaw Quotes
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The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.
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Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place. They teach you to be a gentleman there. In the polytechnic they teach you to be an engineer or such like. See?
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We should have had socialism already, but for the socialists, am quite willing to drop the name if dropping it will help me to get the thing.
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I'm one of the undeserving poor: that's what I am. Think of what that means to a man. It means that he's up agen middle class morality all the time.... What is middle class morality? Just an excuse for never giving me anything.
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles.
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Vulgarity in a king flatters the majority of the nation.
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Every man deserves to be judged in the context of his times.
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I was a freethinker before I knew how to think.
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An interesting play cannot in the nature of things mean anything but a play in which problems of conduct and character of personalimportance to the audience are raised and suggestively discussed.
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When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.
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To be in hell is to drift; to be in heaven is to steer.
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What I say today everybody will say tomorrow, though they will not remember who put it into their heads. Indeed they will be right for I never remember who puts things into my head : it is the Zeitgeist.
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If you cannot have what you believe in you must believe in what you have.
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Assasination on the scaffold is the worst form of assasination, because there it is invested with the approval of society.
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Treat a friend as a person who may someday become your enemy; an enemy as a person who may someday become your friend.
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Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability.
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I no longer desire happiness: life is nobler than that.
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My situation is a solemn one: life is offered to me on the condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed, not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. It will be, without the exception of Noah's Ark, the most remarkable thing of its kind ever seen.
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You sometimes have to answer a woman according to her womanliness, just as you have to answer a fool according to his folly.
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A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
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HIGGINS. Have you no morals, man? DOOLITTLE unabashed Cant afford them, Governor. Neither could you if you was as poor as me.
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There is not one single established religion that an intelligent, educated man can believe.
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Life on board a pleasure steamer violates every moral and physical condition of healthy life except fresh air. . . . It is a guzzling, lounging, gambling, dog's life. The only alternative to excitement is irritability.