Erma Bombeck Quotes
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.

Quotes to Explore
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I grew up in a house full of books and parents who read, which led to me to reading from a very young age. And reading seemed to naturally progress to writing.
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Politics is not an exact science.
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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
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I have no idea what's next. I simply don't have a clue.
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My face always looks bored or depressed. It's not an accurate impression.
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I have never been vain. I don't take myself seriously. I don't consider myself sexy or good-looking.
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I don't think I'd ever start making a film until I had both the intimacy with the subject and the distance to make it live in a certain way.
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I'm always a bit suspicious of writers who have the gift of the gab.
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Putin is willing to poison bodies in the free world, not only minds. Why would he do this? Why would he call attention to his murderous ways now? Well, I’ll turn that around and ask instead, why wouldn’t he? Dictators don’t ask 'Why,' they ask 'Why not?'
Garry Kasparov -
Brainwashed from rock and rap.
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England is very, very important to me, because in my family the English could do no wrong. When my father picked a mistress, it was always an English girl: if he made her pregnant, she could be shipped back to England and he would not be held responsible. It never happened, but I've made a lot of work called The English Can Do No Wrong.
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If liberals were prevented from ever again calling Republicans dumb, they would be robbed of half their arguments. To be sure, they would still have 'racist,' 'fascist,' 'homophobe,' 'ugly,' and a few other highly nuanced arguments in the quiver. But the loss of 'dumb' would nearly cripple them.
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We knew then what we know now; only exemplary blacks are acceptable.
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I really want to disappear, grow a beard, not talk to anyone, not make any friends... I just want to disappear and study.
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In the hot summer months, popsicles are a perfect way to cool down while enjoying a delicious, fruity treat. Frozen, refreshing, mouth-friendly candy on a stick cannot get any better... or can it?
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I started dressing vintage when I was a teenager because I didn't have money for designer clothes.
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Find your passion. Because with that passion, you can do anything.
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Our culture has changed. It has become more violent. People are literally afraid to go to the movies or to school.
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Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.
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I'm also tired of hearing about 'innocent victims'. This is an outmoded idea. There are no innocent victims. If you live on this planet, you're guilty, period, fuck you, end of report, next case. Next fucking case! Your birth certificate is proof of guilt!
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The Irish fought the Italians until they started marrying them. And then they both fought the Jews until they started marrying them.
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I think it would be ridiculous to work with Tom Hardy. I hear some crazy things about him, and he's also really good.
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.