Roy Blount, Jr. Quotes
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Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th.
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People don't necessarily want or need to be done unto as you would have them do unto you. They want to be done unto as they want to be done unto.
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It was easy to make fun of Bush, but it was sort of like shooting fish in a barrel and it didn't really feel all that good because it was so easy to do. I would much rather live under a thoughtful president. Even if it makes it harder to be funny about politics, it makes it more interesting to be funny about politics.
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A picture's worth a thousand words? A library card's worth millions.
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Obama's the most thoughtful-sounding president I can remember. He seems to be saying what he wants to say, and that is a great relief. He always sounds like he's thinking about what he's saying while he's saying it, and that's a rare thing in politicians.
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Certainly people have said a lot of deeply unfortunate and stupid things in Southern accents, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the accent itself.
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Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.
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I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.
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Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
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I like weeding, but I tend to think of it as a solitary activity.
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The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.
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Perhaps the truth is that heavy literature blooms in extremes of temperature.
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I always wanted to win the Super Bowl so I could take it and hold it and see what lies beyond it. I think it may be the sun.
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Think about scary movies: There's a fine line between horror and humor.