Roy Blount, Jr. Quotes
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Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.
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It was easy to make fun of Bush, but it was sort of like shooting fish in a barrel and it didn't really feel all that good because it was so easy to do. I would much rather live under a thoughtful president. Even if it makes it harder to be funny about politics, it makes it more interesting to be funny about politics.
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New York walking isn't exercise: it's a continually showing make-your-own movie.
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I do some eccentric dancing.
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Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
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Certainly people have said a lot of deeply unfortunate and stupid things in Southern accents, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the accent itself.
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I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.
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I like weeding, but I tend to think of it as a solitary activity.
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I always wanted to win the Super Bowl so I could take it and hold it and see what lies beyond it. I think it may be the sun.
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A picture's worth a thousand words? A library card's worth millions.
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I think a writer is not an ideal husband... Writers tend to get off into their own heads and not notice the people that they're living with, or they get irritable with the people that they're living with when the people insist on being noticed.
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Perhaps the truth is that heavy literature blooms in extremes of temperature.
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The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.
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Think about scary movies: There's a fine line between horror and humor.