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Who would have thought that grieving an old relationship and enjoying a new one could happen simultaneously, in parallel? Yet another thing you only find out once it's happening to you.
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Sometimes, you get things right the first time. Others, the second. But the third time, they say, is the charm.
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It was just one of those things," I said, "You know, that just happen. You don't think or plan. You just do it.
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I'd heard of Evergreen Care Center before. Cass and I had always made fun of the stupid ads they ran on TV, featuring some dragged-out woman with a limp perm and big, painted-on circles under her eyes, downing vodka and sobbing uncontrollably. "We can't heal you at Evergreen", the very somber voiceover said. "But we can help you to heal yourself." It had become our own running joke, applicable to almost anything. "Hey Cass, "I'd say, "hand me that toothpaste." "Caitlin," she'd say, her voice dark and serious. "I can't hand you the toothpaste. But I CAN help you hand the toothpaste to yourself.
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I mean, it's impossible to fake anything if you've already seen the other person in a way they'd never choose for you to. You can't go back from that.
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He'd always had that fearless optimism that made cynics like me squirm. I wondered if it was enough for both of us. I would never know from here, though. And time was passing. Crucial minutes and seconds, each one capable of changing everything.
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Leaving was easy. It was everything else that was so damned hard.
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Once she'd loved my filet mignon, my carnivore inklings, but now she was a vegan princess, living off of beans. She'd given up the cheese and bacon, sworn off Burger King, and when I wouldn't do the same she gave me back my ring. I stood there by the romaine lettuce, feeling my heart pine. Wishing that this meatless beauty still would be all mine. She turned around to go to checkout, fifteen items or less. And I knew this was the last go-round, so this is what I said. ... "Don't you ever give me no rotten tomato, 'cause all I ever wanted was your sweet potato.
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I wasn’t ready to think about the other yet: that it wasn’t that I wasn’t right for Macon, but that maybe he wasn’t right for me. There was a difference. Even for someone who things didn’t come easy for, someone like me.
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Only a weak person needed someone else around all the time.
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How fast were you?" Wes asked me. I said, "Not that fast." "You mean you couldn't... fly?" he said, smiling at me.
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Best Friends. And I thought of what she had done all the millions of times I cried to her, collapsing at even the slightest wounding of my heart or pride. So I reached over and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her, and held my best friend close, returning so many favors all at once.
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Everything looks different when you're older, not staring up at the world but down upon it.
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It was like discovering that some part of you wasn't yours at all. And it made me wonder what else I couldn't claim.
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I never really know what I'm going to write next until it comes to me. So we'll just have to see what happens.
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Who knew three dots could make such a difference? Like everything else, a love or a wish or whatever, it was all in the way you read it.
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I took his wildness from him and tried to fold it into myself, filling up the empty spaces all those second place finishes left behind.
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None of it meant anything, and all of it was important.
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Its been a long night" "aren't they all?
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Change is inevitable, though," he replied. "As is disappointment. Best to get used to it now.
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You’re always a kid around your parents… Unless they’re acting like children. Then you don’t get the chance.
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But there was something I liked about the idea of those seeds buried so deep having at least a chance to emerge
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We were willing to do so much for the people we loved, even if it meant hurting ourselves. Maybe that, in the end, was what love- all kinds- was really about.
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Nothing like being scolded by a hippie.