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I wasn't very happy in high school: it was a confusing and sort of sad time for me.
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I had no illusions about love anymore. It came, it went, it left casualties or it didn't. People weren't meant to be together forever, regardless of what the songs say.
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There's a kind of radar that you get, after years of being talked about and made fun of by other people. You can almost smell it when it's about to happen, can recognize instantly the sound of a hushed voice, lowered just enough to make whatever is said okay. I had only been in Colby for a few weeks. But I had not forgotten.
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We were willing to do so much for the people we loved, even if it meant hurting ourselves. Maybe that, in the end, was what love- all kinds- was really about.
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Nah," I said. "But if it does, just tell him I said to get back on the bike." "What?" "He'll understand.
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Love is so unpredictable. Sometimes you'll know a man for years and then one day, boom! Suddenly you see him in a different way. And other times, it's that first date, that first moment. That's what makes it so great.
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That was the nice thing about the Spot: you could hear everything, but no one could see you.
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Behind the camera, I was invisible. When I lifted it up to my eye it was like I crawled into the lens, losing myself there. and everything else fell away.
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She stroked my hair and told me I was beautiful, but I was old enough by then to know not to believe it anymore.
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Hey, and for what it's worth? Friends don't leave you alone in the woods. Friends are the ones who come and take you out.
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So I learned another system: When in doubt, keep it out – out of earshot, out of the house – even if this meant, really, just keeping it in.
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In those first few hours officially single again the world seems like it expands, suddenly bigger and more vast now that you have to get through it alone.
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Leaving was easy. It was everything else that was so damned hard.
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This was just one night, one chance to vary and see where it took me. The fireflies were probably already out: maybe it wasn’t just a season or a time but a whole world I’d forgotten. I’d never know until I stepped out into it. So I did.
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It seemed like this day could go in so many directions, like a spiderweb shooting out toward endless possibilities.
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It's only advice. Ignore it if you want.
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I jammed my hand in my jacket pocket, bracing myself fo the next hit, and fel something. Something grainy and samll, sticking to the tips of my fingers: the sand from Commons Park. Oh Cass, I thought. I miss you so, so much.
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So this had been all I wanted, a boy who understood how I felt. Now, though, I sometimes wished for more.
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All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough by to shoulder the rest.
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Say what you will, but you’re never prepared for the surprise attack.
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Life is long. Just because you don't get your chance right when you want or expect it doesn't mean it won't come. Fate doesn't punch a time clock or consult a schedule.
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Quiet and incredible. I really envy that.
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Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.
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When you can't save yourself or your heart, it helps to be able to save face.