Steven Wright Quotes

United States, Comedian
December 6, 1955

Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright
- Afraid
- Heights
- Width
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Steven Wright
- Mind
- Wandering
- Daydream

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright
- Fishing
- Line
- Shore
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright
- Time
- Walking
- Distance
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Steven Wright
- World
- Small
- Paint
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Steven Wright
- People
- Know
- Reminisce
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Steven Wright
- Know
- Word
- Dictionary

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright
- Everything
- Have
- Put
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Steven Wright
- Mirror
- Luck
- Lawyer