Michael Ian Black Quotes

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

Michael Ian Black

• Funeral
• Fingers
• Corpses

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Quotes to Explore

• Love is the funeral of hearts.

  

  Ville Valo HIM
  • Love
  • For Her
  • Hearts

• My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here!

  

  Rachel Joyce
  • Thinking
  • Remember
  • Father

• Sometimes, when full and in fear that I will continue to eat unwanted food just because it's staring at me, I will place my napkin over the remaining portion. This is what I frequently refer to as a 'food funeral.'

  

  Rachel Nichols
  • Fear
  • Place
  • Funeral

• I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.

  

  Tamara Tunie
  • Up
  • Home
  • Parents

• The sort of lifetime achievement stuff that I'm getting now is kind of like Tom Sawyer's funeral because they all know I'm sick. I am getting buildings named after me and awards and stuff.

  

  Sam Simon
  • Sick
  • Achievement
  • Funeral

• Dad's funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he'd saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour.

  

  Ian Watson
  • People
  • Life
  • Me

• One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.

  

  Caitlin Doughty
  • Work
  • Me
  • Funeral

• In restaurants we argue over which of us will pay for your funeral though the real question is whether or not I will make you immortal.

  

  Margaret Atwood
  • Real
  • Question
  • Funeral

• I almost moved into a place over a funeral parlor. My father said, 'That's just too macabre,' but I thought I'd be embracing my mortality. I told him it would keep me grounded - like when people get skull tattoos.

  

  Jennifer Connelly
  • People
  • Father
  • Funeral

• But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

  

  Jerome K. Jerome
  • Mother
  • Law
  • Funeral

• To the solemn graves, near a lonely cemetery, my heart like a muffled drum is beating funeral marches.

  

  Charles Baudelaire
  • Heart
  • Lonely
  • Funeral

• There have been times when I've felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making 'The Most Hated Family in America' about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.

  

  Louis Theroux
  • Family
  • Remember
  • America

• There are so many cruel decisions parents have to make when their child dies. The funeral director requested a sheet for the coffin, and I sent the cozy flannel one, pale blue with happy snowmen, that had just been put away with the winter linens.

  

  Ann Hood
  • Happy
  • Parents
  • Blue

• Grief has similar side effects of alcohol consumption, such as numbness, guilt, and depression, resulting in less alert and price-sensitive customers. In addition, the funeral industry is somewhat taboo in the sense that communities in general don't communicate with one another about what are acceptable practices in this industry.

  

  Perianne Boring
  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Alcohol

• If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.

  

  Jim Crace
  • Father
  • Lies
  • Grief

• I was raised Catholic. Not just a little bit Catholic, like my wife, Catherine. When she was young, many Catholics in France already barely went to church, except for the big three: baptism, marriage, and funeral. And only the middle one was by choice.

  

  Frans de Waal
  • She
  • Wife
  • Church

• I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!

  

  Chris Young
  • Funeral

• I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.'

  

  Matt Roper
  • God
  • Family
  • Dad

• Modi is an excellent orator - sure, anybody who spouts untruths is an excellent orator.

  

  Kapil Sibal
  • Sure
  • Excellent
  • Anybody

• I always wanted to create a site that was sports and pop culture. '30 for 30' had a big impact because I loved how that was about finding, empowering and working with these incredible directors, and I thought the same thing could work for writers.

  

  Bill Simmons
  • Work
  • Culture
  • Sports

• Louis B. Mayer is one of those with a claim to posessing the equation... he began to buy up nickelodeon arcades in the years before the First World War in and around Boston. He had noticed that people liked going into the dark to see the light... the appeal of the movies is beyond the sensible, rational or the hard-working. Going into the dark, afte centuries of progress in which mankind has staggered toward artificial light, smacks of delicious perversity.

  

  Edward Jay Epstein
  • Light
  • Movies
  • Mankind

• There are some songs where you're like, 'I really like this song,' and it just didn't work out how you thought it would. That's life. You win some, you lose some. You can't dwell on it. I can't be worried about the past.

  

  Ciara
  • Life
  • Work
  • Song

• My family are all storytellers, and I think I inherited a lot more of that gene than other people in my family. I guess I was fun to have around.

  

  John C. Reilly
  • People
  • Family
  • Fun

• I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

  

  Michael Ian Black
  • Funeral
  • Fingers
  • Corpses