Michael Ian Black Quotes
I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
Quotes to Explore
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Love is the funeral of hearts.
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My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here!
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Sometimes, when full and in fear that I will continue to eat unwanted food just because it's staring at me, I will place my napkin over the remaining portion. This is what I frequently refer to as a 'food funeral.'
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I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.
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The sort of lifetime achievement stuff that I'm getting now is kind of like Tom Sawyer's funeral because they all know I'm sick. I am getting buildings named after me and awards and stuff.
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Dad's funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he'd saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour.
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One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.
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In restaurants we argue over which of us will pay for your funeral though the real question is whether or not I will make you immortal.
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I almost moved into a place over a funeral parlor. My father said, 'That's just too macabre,' but I thought I'd be embracing my mortality. I told him it would keep me grounded - like when people get skull tattoos.
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But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.
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To the solemn graves, near a lonely cemetery, my heart like a muffled drum is beating funeral marches.
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There have been times when I've felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making 'The Most Hated Family in America' about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.
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There are so many cruel decisions parents have to make when their child dies. The funeral director requested a sheet for the coffin, and I sent the cozy flannel one, pale blue with happy snowmen, that had just been put away with the winter linens.
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Grief has similar side effects of alcohol consumption, such as numbness, guilt, and depression, resulting in less alert and price-sensitive customers. In addition, the funeral industry is somewhat taboo in the sense that communities in general don't communicate with one another about what are acceptable practices in this industry.
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If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.
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I was raised Catholic. Not just a little bit Catholic, like my wife, Catherine. When she was young, many Catholics in France already barely went to church, except for the big three: baptism, marriage, and funeral. And only the middle one was by choice.
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I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!
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I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.'
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The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
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To say that I enjoyed writing... is like saying I enjoy having fingers and toes. It's difficult to imagine life without them.
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A good marriage is like an incredible retirement fund. You put everything you have into it during your productive life, and over the years it turns from silver to gold to platinum.
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I have to lead my party from the front. I love meeting people and this happens only during elections.
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Well, I'm getting better. It'll never be as it was. It affected the right side of my face. It's no big deal. You look at this guy here, and to think I've got problems.
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I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
