Michael Ian Black Quotes

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

Michael Ian Black

• Funeral
• Fingers
• Corpses

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Quotes to Explore

• Love is the funeral of hearts.

  

  Ville Valo HIM
  • Love
  • For Her
  • Hearts

• My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here!

  

  Rachel Joyce
  • Thinking
  • Remember
  • Father

• Sometimes, when full and in fear that I will continue to eat unwanted food just because it's staring at me, I will place my napkin over the remaining portion. This is what I frequently refer to as a 'food funeral.'

  

  Rachel Nichols
  • Fear
  • Place
  • Funeral

• I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.

  

  Tamara Tunie
  • Up
  • Home
  • Parents

• The sort of lifetime achievement stuff that I'm getting now is kind of like Tom Sawyer's funeral because they all know I'm sick. I am getting buildings named after me and awards and stuff.

  

  Sam Simon
  • Sick
  • Achievement
  • Funeral

• Dad's funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he'd saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour.

  

  Ian Watson
  • People
  • Life
  • Me

• One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.

  

  Caitlin Doughty
  • Work
  • Me
  • Funeral

• In restaurants we argue over which of us will pay for your funeral though the real question is whether or not I will make you immortal.

  

  Margaret Atwood
  • Real
  • Question
  • Funeral

• I almost moved into a place over a funeral parlor. My father said, 'That's just too macabre,' but I thought I'd be embracing my mortality. I told him it would keep me grounded - like when people get skull tattoos.

  

  Jennifer Connelly
  • People
  • Father
  • Funeral

• But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

  

  Jerome K. Jerome
  • Mother
  • Law
  • Funeral

• To the solemn graves, near a lonely cemetery, my heart like a muffled drum is beating funeral marches.

  

  Charles Baudelaire
  • Heart
  • Lonely
  • Funeral

• There have been times when I've felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making 'The Most Hated Family in America' about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.

  

  Louis Theroux
  • Family
  • Remember
  • America

• There are so many cruel decisions parents have to make when their child dies. The funeral director requested a sheet for the coffin, and I sent the cozy flannel one, pale blue with happy snowmen, that had just been put away with the winter linens.

  

  Ann Hood
  • Happy
  • Parents
  • Blue

• Grief has similar side effects of alcohol consumption, such as numbness, guilt, and depression, resulting in less alert and price-sensitive customers. In addition, the funeral industry is somewhat taboo in the sense that communities in general don't communicate with one another about what are acceptable practices in this industry.

  

  Perianne Boring
  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Alcohol

• If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.

  

  Jim Crace
  • Father
  • Lies
  • Grief

• I was raised Catholic. Not just a little bit Catholic, like my wife, Catherine. When she was young, many Catholics in France already barely went to church, except for the big three: baptism, marriage, and funeral. And only the middle one was by choice.

  

  Frans de Waal
  • She
  • Wife
  • Church

• I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!

  

  Chris Young
  • Funeral

• I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.'

  

  Matt Roper
  • God
  • Family
  • Dad

• No man's pie is freed From his ambitious finger.

  

  William Shakespeare
  • Men
  • Fingers
  • Ambitious

• Whether you are rich or poor, it's nice to have money, but money is never the answer. Money can get you in trouble, too. Look at Martha Stewart!

  

  Bobby Balderrama Question Mark & the Mysterians
  • Money
  • Trouble
  • Answer

• I think a core principle of the Democratic Party has to be a defense of equal rights for every American. At the same time, when you look at the election, and not just the 2016 election, but the elections to come, Democrats have to do better than we did in 2016 in communities, in rural communities where people feel like they've been in a slow burn recession or depression for years, not just months.

  

  Neera Tanden
  • Depression
  • Communities
  • Elections

• The discipline of desire is the background of character.

  

  John Locke Nazareth
  • Character
  • Desire
  • Discipline

• The prince must consider, as has been in part said before, how to avoid those things which will make him hated or contemptible; and as often as he shall have succeeded he will have fulfilled his part, and he need not fear any danger in other reproaches.

  

  Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli
  • Things
  • Prince
  • Consider

• I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

  

  Michael Ian Black
  • Funeral
  • Fingers
  • Corpses