Michael Ian Black Quotes

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

Michael Ian Black

• Funeral
• Fingers
• Corpses

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Quotes to Explore

• Love is the funeral of hearts.

  

  Ville Valo HIM
  • Love
  • For Her
  • Hearts

• My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here!

  

  Rachel Joyce
  • Thinking
  • Remember
  • Father

• Sometimes, when full and in fear that I will continue to eat unwanted food just because it's staring at me, I will place my napkin over the remaining portion. This is what I frequently refer to as a 'food funeral.'

  

  Rachel Nichols
  • Fear
  • Place
  • Funeral

• The tires were scorching hot, in fact I burned my fingers on one.

  

  Malcolm Campbell
  • Fact
  • Hot
  • Fingers

• I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.

  

  Tamara Tunie
  • Up
  • Home
  • Parents

• The sort of lifetime achievement stuff that I'm getting now is kind of like Tom Sawyer's funeral because they all know I'm sick. I am getting buildings named after me and awards and stuff.

  

  Sam Simon
  • Sick
  • Achievement
  • Funeral

• Dad's funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he'd saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour.

  

  Ian Watson
  • People
  • Life
  • Me

• One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.

  

  Caitlin Doughty
  • Work
  • Me
  • Funeral

• In restaurants we argue over which of us will pay for your funeral though the real question is whether or not I will make you immortal.

  

  Margaret Atwood
  • Real
  • Question
  • Funeral

• I almost moved into a place over a funeral parlor. My father said, 'That's just too macabre,' but I thought I'd be embracing my mortality. I told him it would keep me grounded - like when people get skull tattoos.

  

  Jennifer Connelly
  • People
  • Father
  • Funeral

• But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

  

  Jerome K. Jerome
  • Mother
  • Law
  • Funeral

• To the solemn graves, near a lonely cemetery, my heart like a muffled drum is beating funeral marches.

  

  Charles Baudelaire
  • Heart
  • Lonely
  • Funeral

• There have been times when I've felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making 'The Most Hated Family in America' about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.

  

  Louis Theroux
  • Family
  • Remember
  • America

• There are so many cruel decisions parents have to make when their child dies. The funeral director requested a sheet for the coffin, and I sent the cozy flannel one, pale blue with happy snowmen, that had just been put away with the winter linens.

  

  Ann Hood
  • Happy
  • Parents
  • Blue

• Grief has similar side effects of alcohol consumption, such as numbness, guilt, and depression, resulting in less alert and price-sensitive customers. In addition, the funeral industry is somewhat taboo in the sense that communities in general don't communicate with one another about what are acceptable practices in this industry.

  

  Perianne Boring
  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Alcohol

• If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.

  

  Jim Crace
  • Father
  • Lies
  • Grief

• I was raised Catholic. Not just a little bit Catholic, like my wife, Catherine. When she was young, many Catholics in France already barely went to church, except for the big three: baptism, marriage, and funeral. And only the middle one was by choice.

  

  Frans de Waal
  • She
  • Wife
  • Church

• I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!

  

  Chris Young
  • Funeral

• Perhaps the windWails so in winter for the summers dead,And all sad sounds are nature's funeral criesFor what has been and is not.

  

  George Eliot
  • Nature
  • Sad
  • Winter

• I had rather munch a crust of brown bread and an onion in a corner, without any more ado or ceremony, than feed upon turkey at another man's table, where one is fain to sit mincing and chewing his meat an hour together, drink little, be always wiping his fingers and his chops, and never dare to cough nor sneeze, though he has never so much a mind to it, nor do a many things which a body may do freely by one's self.

  

  Miguel de Cervantes
  • Food
  • Fingers
  • Ceremony

• Let's learn from the wisdom of every mother and father who teaches their daughters there is no limit on how big she can dream and how much she can achieve.

  

  Hillary Clinton
  • Mother
  • Father
  • Wisdom

• When you kill somebody in the movies, it matters, whereas in literature it can be allegorical.

  

  Barbet Schroeder
  • You
  • Literature
  • Movies

• Never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret.

  

  Sara Shepard
  • Girl
  • Secret

• I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

  

  Michael Ian Black
  • Funeral
  • Fingers
  • Corpses