Molly Ivins Quotes
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Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.
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Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman
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Texas is a fine place for men and dogs, but hell on women and horses.
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Personally, I think government is a tool, like a hammer. You can use a hammer to build or you can use a hammer to destroy; there is nothing intrinsically good or evil about the hammer itself. It is the purposes to which it is put and the skill with which it is used that determine whether the hammer's work is good or bad.
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Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather.
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Anyone who thinks humans are not capable of so fouling their own nest that the land and the waters can no longer be productive just hasn't been paying attention.
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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
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The Libertarians, of whom I'm rather fond, are running Harry Browne. Libertarians are, just as they claim, principled and consistent - they believe in individual liberty. Commendable as they are, and despite their reliability as allies in civil liberties struggles, you may notice that Libertarians sometimes prove that a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and that there is a difference between logic and wisdom.
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It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
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In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the governor's office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.
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So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
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Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered.
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With politicians, artful evasion is always preferable to the outright lie.
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During a recent panel on the numerous failures of American journalism, I proposed that almost all stories about government should begin: “Look out! They're about to smack you around again!
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Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory.
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As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.
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You look at the large problems that we face - that would be overpopulation, water shortages, global warming and AIDS, I suppose - all of that needs international cooperation to be solved.
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The charm of Ronald Reagan is not just that he kept telling us screwy things, it was that he believed them all. No wonder we trusted him, he never lied to us. ... His stubbornness, even defiance, in the face of facts ('stupid things,' he once called them in a memorable slip) was nothing short of splendid. ... This is the man who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency.
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If you really wanted to settle down the Middle East, if what you wanted was change in the Middle East, it is perfectly obvious that the first step is resolving the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.
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When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?
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In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.
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I don't so much mind that newspapers are dying - it's watching them commit suicide that pisses me off.
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Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
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The more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.