Molly Ivins Quotes
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I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.
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How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.
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I often plagiarize from myself. I like to think of this as ecological journalism: I recycle.
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On Bill Clinton: "If left to my own devices, I'd spend all my time pointing out that he's weaker than bus-station chili. But the man is so constantly subjected to such hideous and unfair abuse that I wind up standing up for him on the general principle that some fairness should be applied. Besides, no one but a fool or a Republican ever took him for a liberal.
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I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.
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Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.
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The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.
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If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.
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It's all very well to run around saying regulation is bad, get the government off our backs, etc. Of course our lives are regulated. When you come to a stop sign, you stop; if you want to go fishing, you get a license; if you want to shoot ducks, you can shoot only three ducks. The alternative is dead bodies at the intersections, no fish and no ducks. OK?
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What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority.
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Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases.
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The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.
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I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
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Of course, it has never paid much.
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Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.
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...you could have knocked me over with Michael Huffington's brain.
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Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman
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In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the governor's office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.
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Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed.
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the pyramids were built for pharaohs on the happy theory that they could take their stuff with them. Versailles was built for kings on the theory that they should live surrounded by the finest stuff. The Mall of America is built on the premise that we should all be able to afford this stuff. It may be a shallow culture, but it's by-God democratic. Sneer if you dare; this is something new in world history.
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With politicians, artful evasion is always preferable to the outright lie.
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Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
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I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.
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California is now close to spending more on prisons than it does on higher education - surely the death warrant of a civilization.