Alonzo Bodden Quotes

Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.

Alonzo Bodden

• New
• Destroy
• Disappears

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

Alonzo Bodden

• Shut Up
• Airplanes
• Sit Down

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

Alonzo Bodden

• Women
• Cash
• Viagra

Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.

Alonzo Bodden

• Good
• Boat
• Climbed

I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.

Alonzo Bodden

• Black
• Conservatives
• Old Days

I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.

Alonzo Bodden

• Insurance
• Burning
• Fantasies

I could always make people laugh.

Alonzo Bodden

• People
• Laugh
• Make

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.

Alonzo Bodden

• Relationship
• Listening
• Talk

Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?

Alonzo Bodden

• Divorce
• Marriages
• Same-Sex

I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.

Alonzo Bodden

• Work
• Honest
• Comic