Alonzo Bodden Quotes

United States, Actor
June 13, 1962

Alonzo Bodden is an American comedian and actor known for winning the grand prize in the third season of the reality-television series Last Comic Standing. He had been the runner-up in the previous season.

Also known as Comedian

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

Alonzo Bodden
Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.

Alonzo Bodden
- New
- Destroy
- Disappears

I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.

Alonzo Bodden
I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.

Alonzo Bodden
Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.

Alonzo Bodden
- Good
- Boat
- Climbed
I could always make people laugh.

Alonzo Bodden
- People
- Laugh
- Make
Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

Alonzo Bodden
- Women
- Cash
- Viagra
In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.

Alonzo Bodden

Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?

Alonzo Bodden
I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.

Alonzo Bodden
- Work
- Honest
- Comic