Mort Sahl Quotes
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.
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One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.