Mort Sahl Quotes

Canada, Stand-Up Comedian
May 11, 1927 – October, 26, 2021.

Morton Lyon Sahl was a Canadian-born American stand-up comedian, actor and social satirist, considered the first modern stand-up comedian since Will Rogers. Sahl pioneered a style of social satire which pokes fun at political and current event topics using improvised monologues and only a newspaper as a prop.

Also known as Actor, Satirist

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Mort Sahl
- Lonely
- Thing
- Minded
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

Mort Sahl
- Black
- Seventies
- Jocks

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

Mort Sahl
I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

Mort Sahl
- Chicago
- Active
- Executors
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

Mort Sahl
Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

Mort Sahl
- Remember
- Matter
- Flower
There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

Mort Sahl
- People
- Millions
- Clinton
There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

Mort Sahl
- Moral
- Danger
- Bankruptcy

My life needs editing.

Mort Sahl
- Life
- Editing
A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Mort Sahl