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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner -
I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
Wilson Mizner
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Wilson Mizner -
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner -
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
Wilson Mizner -
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
Wilson Mizner -
I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
Wilson Mizner -
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Wilson Mizner
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
Wilson Mizner -
God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner -
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner -
The first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner -
There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
Wilson Mizner -
The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
Wilson Mizner