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I had never before met anyone who owned a telephone and believed in dragons.
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To wait - only to wait - without even the final merciful deprivation of hope.Sometimes I think that some secret court must have tried and condemned me, unheard, to this heavy sentence.
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I had a curious feeling that I was living on several planes simultaneously; the overlapping of these planes was confusing.
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At last I feel identified with the mountains, clean, cold, hard, detached.
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I know I've got a death wish. I've never enjoyed my life, I've never liked people. I love the mountains because they are the negation of life, indestructible, inhuman, untouchable, indifferent, as I want to be.
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My ideas were confused. In a peculiar way, the unreality of the outer world appeared to be an extension of my own disturbed state of mind.
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You mustn't be so afraid of life - it's all we've got. Don't let it hurt you so much.
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Because of my fear that the daytime world would become real, I had to establish reality in another place.