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It all seems so permanent, so old and new at the same time. But I wonder if I will ever feel completely new again. Or will I spend the rest of my life feeling like a walking disease?
Beatrice Sparks -
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
Beatrice Sparks
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Actually I don’t need the sleep as much as I need the escape. It’s a wonderful way to escape. I think I can’t stand it and then I just take a pill and wait for sweet nothingness to take over. At this stage in my life nothingness is a lot better than somethingness.
Beatrice Sparks -
I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
Beatrice Sparks -
I'm partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing. Sometimes I think we're all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don't like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don't want to be a robot!
Beatrice Sparks -
I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.
Beatrice Sparks -
…I’d have died without them books. Even now I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
Beatrice Sparks -
The complete bottom has fallen out of my life.
Beatrice Sparks
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Why so much hate in your mind when love is the only way to straighten things out?
Beatrice Sparks -
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus "Not me! I didn't think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
Beatrice Sparks -
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
Beatrice Sparks -
One day I'll be old, without ever having really been young.
Beatrice Sparks -
Depressed? No one in the world but a doper could know the true opposite of depressed.
Beatrice Sparks -
I pretend I've got lots of confidence and I'm a big jock and like that but deep inside I'm a frightened, insecure, can't-make-it failure.
Beatrice Sparks
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I wanted to write in you.
Beatrice Sparks -
Everyone is trying to get attention but intelligent persons get theirs by doing something worthwhile, beneficial to himself and the community.
Beatrice Sparks -
Like usual, what I want is not important, what I’m supposed to do that counts.
Beatrice Sparks -
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
Beatrice Sparks -
Then there’s me… non-relevant, non-predicable… ass-headed.
Beatrice Sparks -
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren't even physical?
Beatrice Sparks