Larry the Cable Guy Quotes
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At first I didn't even realize she was pregnant. I kinda gotten used to her throwing up every time we had sex...
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You know, you can tell the difference between a terrorist and a toddler. On a terrorist, the diaper is gonna be on the head, all right? That's how you can tell the difference. very loud applause It's upsetting. Unbelievable. They got absolutely nothing in common except both diapers are full of crap.
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about Fruit of the Loom What does fruit got to do with underbritches? I guess it's to remind us when we take them down we go, 'Oh, I should've eaten more fruit today. I guess.'
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In reference to Playstation Football Here's an idea! Why don't they make a button that says frickin' 'pass'!
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'Cars' has been a godsend. I mean, I get paid to talk into a mic. Honestly, I had no idea it would become as big as it did. When I first got the part of Mater, it was actually a small part. I did the voicing for it, though, and the animators liked it so much they rewrote the original script so that Mater could be in it more.
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My mom went to that same doctor and got a butt lift. It's a little too lifted, I think, alright. Now every time she farts only dogs can hear it.
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I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, 'Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!'
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Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?
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I like to hunt. We went to a nuclear power and hunted in the woods next to it. I got a 34-point rabbit in there. We always go at night. It's easier. All the critters glow in the dark out there.
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Actually, you can make pretty good cash on stage without being a comedian or a stripper. My brother once won a talent contest by fartin' the song 'Dixie' through an oil funnel. He not only took home 500 bucks, he got to meet Regis after the show. Who says dreams don't come true? (p. 11).
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Them gas prices are higher than a bus load of Mexicans at the Los Lobos concert.