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Everything in life involves choice.
Brenna Yovanoff -
I couldn't work out what she actually wanted. Whether being dead happened in a pretty box on Welsh Street or someplace else, it didn't make a difference. Dead was irreversible. It was permanent. You couldn't do anything about it, and still, Tate seemed determined to take it back, like with the right answer, she could fix everything.
Brenna Yovanoff
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Don't take this the wrong way, but all my life you've been the weirdest person I've ever met. That doesn't make you not a real person. In fact, it makes you pretty goddamn specific.
Brenna Yovanoff -
When did a name ever change what someone is?
Brenna Yovanoff -
So, are you just going to stand there looking like a piece of furniture?
Brenna Yovanoff -
It wasn't like the other songs. There was no story, no conversation. This was just the feeling, without words or pictures, and it had nothing to do with Luther or his clean, stinging guitar. It was the sound of being outside, of being alien. It was the pulse that ran under everything and never let you forget that you were strange, that the world hurt just to touch.
Brenna Yovanoff -
We lay on the grass beside the cemetery fence, kissing and shivering. Her teeth started to chatter and I pulled her against me, which made me feel like a superhero for no apparent reason.
Brenna Yovanoff -
Her gaze was direct, full of a sadness so raw and crystallized that I could see the shape of it.
Brenna Yovanoff
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It's strange, but seeing something broken is somehow worse when you can tell that it used to be beautiful.
Brenna Yovanoff -
What's up?' he said, like the church was always burning down and I always called him on a school night, telling him to come over after dark and bring a shovel.
Brenna Yovanoff -
I've never been impulsive. It's always been in my nature to consider things carefully and then decide upon the best solution. Except, sometimes the circumstances change. Sometimes things get so complicated and so bad that your nature just doesn't matter anymore.
Brenna Yovanoff -
I wanted it in the way you sometimes want to jump into very cold water, even though you know it won't feel good. I wanted to go numb. To see what it felt like to be someone else.
Brenna Yovanoff -
There are all kinds of things that can scare you every day. What if someone you know gets cancer? What if something happens to you sister or your friends or your parents? And what if you get hit by a car crossing the street or the kids at school find out what an unnatural freak you are and what if you go too far out in the lake and the water is over your head and what if there's a fire or a war? And you can lie awake at night and worry about these things because it's scary and unpredictable, but it's REAL. It's possible.
Brenna Yovanoff -
The fact is, the contest has always been invulnerability, and even when you win, you still lose.
Brenna Yovanoff
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This is aeons older than you or your family. Older than the town. Blood makes the sun shine and the crops grow. This is the truth of the world. Fuck the world. I just want my sister back.
Brenna Yovanoff -
All my life, I've understood the nature of where I come from, but I never thought it might be wicked until now.
Brenna Yovanoff -
Intention is one of the most powerful forces there is. What you mean when you do a thing will always determine the outcome. The law creates the world.
Brenna Yovanoff -
It was completely unshocking that there were monsters in the world, secret rituals and underground burrows filled with the dead, when in my own way, I was secret and sort of monstrous too. It just didn’t show in the same way.
Brenna Yovanoff -
People make decisions, and maybe you don't always agree, but those choices are still their own.
Brenna Yovanoff -
Once, I ordered two thousand lady bugs from the local garden center and set them loose in the atrium. I sprinkled marigold seeds in the ficus planters and put gold fish in the lobby fountain. These are things I did with no consequences, no repercussions. My nineteen detentions were for smart answers and missed homework. There is no equivalent punishment for making the world a stranger place.
Brenna Yovanoff
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You're terribly selfish, you know. I've loved you so long, and it was never dear or precious to you. I might as well have not loved you at all.
Brenna Yovanoff -
...you have to think about your options, weigh the consequences before you make decisions, but the advice was so worthless when it came to the things that mattered.
Brenna Yovanoff -
When you name something, you take away some of it's power. It becomes known.
Brenna Yovanoff -
On the opposite page, there was a poem. It described how beauty and truth mattered more than anything else. They were the same thing. But it didn't matter how pretty you painted the world.
Brenna Yovanoff