Dan Cummins Quotes

United States, Comedian
May 17, 1977

Dan Cummins aka "The Master Sucker" is a professional stand-up comedian and the host of the Timesuck Podcast. His first comedy album, Revenge is Near, distributed by Warner Bros. Records, was ranked as one of the top 10 comedy CDs of 2009 by Punchline Magazine. His first hour-long special for Comedy Central, titled Crazy With A Capital F, premiered May 29, 2010. He was a co-host for The Playboy Morning Show and since 2016 has hosted his own podcast, Timesuck.

Its easy to have kids, people try to scare you into thinking "oh its hard to have kids" Its not. I have two, and I have no idea where they are right now. Kids are adorable, someone will always take care of them.

Dan Cummins
- People
- Thinking
- Trying
The next time you and somebody are in an elevator alone, give them the creepiest stare followed by the creepiest smile ever. While they're leaving, give them a crazy laugh and say, 'It was a meet to pleasure you'.

Dan Cummins
- Giving
- Crazy
- Pleasure

I'm going to build my own slam.

Dan Cummins
- Slam