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Being a conservative in Hollywood is like walking into a shooting range with a bull's-eye attached to your body. There are more of us than you would believe, but if you want to keep working, you feel like you have to keep quiet.
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That was also my nickname in high school.
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If I went in to pitch this show to a network, I would be laughed out of the room.
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Sometimes you just stumble into something that works, and here I am a quarter of a century later.
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I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.
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That's the trouble with trying to influence an undecided voter. First you have to find one.
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Anyone who has seen me spin that heavy, giant wheel on television knows that I'm not a steroid user.
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I would be surprised... if someone at CBS wasn't thinking that eventually Johnny's gonna retire and if we have somebody in place, we'll be in good shape.
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I'm more concerned about members of Congress being drug-free than I am about members of the Yankees or Giants.
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Political pornography is not unlike the sexual kind: difficult to define, but you know it when you see it.
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Sexual scandals are especially effective against Republicans who can then also be accused of hypocrisy inasmuch as they're always spouting off about morality and junk like that. Of course, some personal issues such as former Klan membership or leaving the scene of a fatal accident are off limits for obvious reasons
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A celebrity has just as much right to speak out as people who hold real jobs. This is America, after all, and you should not be precluded from voicing your opinions just because you sing songs, mouth other peoples' words on a sitcom or, for that matter, spin a giant multi-colored wheel on a game show.
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There is a certain comfort in waking up and finding that Michael Jackson is still the Big Story. At least it tells you that nothing horrible has happened in the world that would force them to move on to real news.
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The most important political task facing the out-of-power party - the Democrats for now - is creating a villain to run against. It's certainly easier than developing some grand new ideas or policies on which to campaign.
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You better go shopping for that dog.
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It seems to me we have been in a rhetorical arms race in this country, with each side unwilling to lay down its weapons for fear – usually justified – the other side would beat them to a pulp.
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I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Clinton cost John Kerry more votes than he gained for him whenever they appeared together. Imagine being part of a crowd enraptured by the presence of Bill Clinton, and then having to listen to a speech by John Kerry!
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I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends. Good night.
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It's hard to get burned out on doing a TV show.