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I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.
A. Whitney Brown -
The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.
A. Whitney Brown
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I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.
A. Whitney Brown -
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
A. Whitney Brown -
A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.
A. Whitney Brown -
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown -
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
A. Whitney Brown -
Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.
A. Whitney Brown
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The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.
A. Whitney Brown -
There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.
A. Whitney Brown -
The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'
A. Whitney Brown -
Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.
A. Whitney Brown -
I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.
A. Whitney Brown -
The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.
A. Whitney Brown
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Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts.
A. Whitney Brown -
I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.
A. Whitney Brown -
I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean, where do you even FIND a Jewish hard-line conservative Republican pot-smoker? Sounds like an Oprah Winfrey guest.
A. Whitney Brown -
I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is that being born again doesn't entitle you to twice as many.
A. Whitney Brown -
You know, you look at the chaos in the conservative camp right now, it's only too tempting to blame it all on pot. But in fact, the Reagan revolution owes a lot to Reefer. For one thing, it's made the symptoms of senility socially acceptable.
A. Whitney Brown