Alexei Sayle Quotes
-
I'm fascinated by comedy.
-
I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.
-
I would say I was still a Marxist - which is not to be confused with being a Communist. Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else.
-
First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
-
A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
-
As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.
-
But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
-
It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.
-
I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.
-
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
-
Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.
-
However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.
-
Recently, my personal advisors have been telling me to go to America. Actually, people have been walking up to me in the street and telling me to sod off, but that's the same thing, isn't it?
-
If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
-
I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.
-
If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
-
The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away.
-
I've accentuated the look over the years. As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.
-
If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'
-
I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
-
Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like 'Brothers in Arms' and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
-
Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.
-
I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't... You can't live your life for your routines.
-
I feel sorry for many politicians... we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.