Amy Schumer Quotes
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I'm super grateful that there wasn't social media when I was a kid, but that sort of self-doubt crept in at a young age. It's bullying. It's the comments here and there, and maybe somebody says something to you that they don't even mean to be a mean-spirited comment, but they'll just kind of say it to you in passing.
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I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.
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What's good about not being a model is that it's not the thing I trade on. Once I start looking older, that won't affect me. I have never gotten anything done because I'm, like, so gorgeous. I'm good-looking enough that I can work in the business.
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I love watching TV.
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I just have this sense of entitlement that I should be able to feel comfortable at all times, like I could go to bed at any moment in what I'm wearing.
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The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
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My regimen is I wake up, usually around 8:30, brush my teeth, and splash water on my face.
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I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl and always have, thanks to my mom. I was brought into this world thinking I was gorgeous because my mother was extremely devoted to this notion.
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My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.
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I love standing at a microphone and making a room of people laugh. That's the part of the work I love; everything else is extraneous.
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Happiness can't start with external stuff, whether that's money or success or your body.
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I think standup is pretty good for an introvert because you are performing, but, I mean, it's on your own terms. There are so many people in the room, but it's a one-sided conversation. And you actually don't have to interact - unless you want to.
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Being introverted, it doesn't mean necessarily being shy or being afraid of public speaking; it just means that it's hard for me to interact with people for too long.
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I like people who are predictable.
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I've always had my wrist slapped for being myself.
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I really am a chick from Long Island who's just learning along with everyone.
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I am not a racist.
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To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.
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I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
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It's really hard for a lot of men to have the woman accomplishing more than them.
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I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
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People get really turned off by feminism.
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Some men's magazines are just downright offensive.
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I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.