Andrew Dice Clay Quotes
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I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.
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I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.
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I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
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I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her off, and having sex before you go to bed is like a sleeping pill. I always say, you're supposed to remember the reason you even asked that girl out.
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I make people laugh hard; I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, "I'll be dirty and they'll laugh." Nobody's becoming a superstar that way.
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Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, "Know how much money you'll make?" And then it would just fail.
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I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.
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Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh - that's what gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement.
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I just like to make people laugh.
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I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.
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All the subject matter I talk about isn't new; all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
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People have always been animals when it comes to sex. But since the Internet, it's become really out of control, in my opinion.
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I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.
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I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.