Jokes Quotes
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I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.
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I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
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I'm not trying to prove anything for the right or the left. Which gives me freedom to make jokes about either side, too.
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I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.
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When I was a kid, we got in a cipher and battled each other lyrically. We told jokes and made the hottest dance moves.
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I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own material if you've seen videos I've done. I write jokes.
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Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.
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I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of what definitely works. And the only gauge that I can go by is, 'This makes me laugh,' and is joyful... I like to, if possible, do things that people can enjoy and it doesn't take anybody down.
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They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure.
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There were very strict social conventions, and you adhered to it, and I think it gave you a lot of character. When a man said something, he meant it. He wasn't kidding around. There were no jokes involved. Nobody was in the mood to joke unless you hit a guy with a baseball bat.
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Most jokes state a bitter truth.
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I love to smile. I love to laugh. I like to hear jokes. For instance, when I'm on the road, every night I watch 'Seinfeld.' I find it somewhere. I think it's so funny, and I watch the repeats over and over again.
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Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.
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I am a bit of a Cheap Pete, but I do spend a fortune on books and false moustaches and practical jokes.
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It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut.
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What if life is just a cosmic joke, like spiders in your underwear.
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Jokes that are gratuitously offensive are synonymous with bad writing to me. I'm offended as a writer first and as a person second.
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Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.
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The idea that any performer type is owed anything is a joke to me.
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It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
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Another day gone and no jokes.
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.
