Jokes Quotes
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One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them.
P. J. O'Rourke -
I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weird when you're doing stand-up in that type of sterile, unnatural setting.
Hannibal Buress
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When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing . . . . Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.
Naomi Weisstein -
Life is a joke that's just begun.
W. S. Gilbert -
Hahaha, bitch you got jokes!
BeBe Zahara Benet -
Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
Billy Joel -
Because, as we are told—a sad old joke, too— Ghosts, like the ladies, never speak till spoke to.
Bill Vaughan -
Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
Bill Burr
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
Andy Roddick -
I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.
Andy Samberg -
That's the Irish all over -- they treat a joke as a serious thing and a serious thing as a joke.
Sean O'Casey -
The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.
Allen Toussaint -
Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.
Russell Baker -
I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
Aziz Ansari
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Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one group is hedged off and protected then that group can never truly be integrated.
Mark Steyn -
I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg and the printing press. The difference is I have a tape recorder in my hand.
Studs Terkel -
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!.
Rob Zombie -
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton -
The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
Corey Feldman -
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
Jensen Ackles
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Jack Roy -
Nobody sold prints then and prices didn't mean anything. In terms of earning your living, it was a joke.
Garry Winogrand -
And I watch all the dailies and I grade the jokes or the moments, you know, on a scale from... so I know exactly what we have. And so I can then go into the editing room and be like "I want you to do this moment, this moment, this joke, that joke. I'd like to see 3 versions."
Nicholas Stoller -
If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
Andy Samberg