Jokes Quotes
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I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weird when you're doing stand-up in that type of sterile, unnatural setting.
Hannibal Buress
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Bill Clinton was doing Ku Klux Klan grand kleagel jokes at Byrd's funeral, saying, Oh, Robert C. Byrd, he used the - he was the grand kleagel. He just did what he had to do.
Sean Hannity
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My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes.
Judah Friedlander
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I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg and the printing press. The difference is I have a tape recorder in my hand.
Studs Terkel
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I am a crazy online shopper. My husband always jokes, Another box arrived! Airplanes used to be my sanctuary for reading books, but now I have to peruse Gilt sales.
Lisa Ling
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I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
Dolly Parton
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A satirist is someone who has a very skeptical view of human nature, but who still has the optimism to make some sort of a joke out of it. However brutal that joke might be.
Stanley Kubrick
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
Andy Roddick
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There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which is difficult.
Alexander David Turner
Arctic Monkeys
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
Rainn Wilson
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Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
Billy Joel
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Because, as we are told—a sad old joke, too— Ghosts, like the ladies, never speak till spoke to.
Bill Vaughan
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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
Drew Carey
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I don't think any of us felt like, "Oh, we need to put joke songs on the record." If we found something funny, we would record it, and if we wanted to, we'd put it on the record. It's not really something we spent too much time agonizing over.
Mark Hoppus
Blink-182
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
Brad Williams
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
William Hung
