Jokes Quotes
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I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
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Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke.
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I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.
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Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
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There are always a lot of jokes and good vibes floating through the studio so tattooing all day doesn't feel like a job. It's rewarding to see my clients as excited as I am.
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There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
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I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything from anybody. Jokes are no different.
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
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One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them.
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I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
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My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
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I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weird when you're doing stand-up in that type of sterile, unnatural setting.
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Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect for myself.
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Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.
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Bill Clinton was doing Ku Klux Klan grand kleagel jokes at Byrd's funeral, saying, Oh, Robert C. Byrd, he used the - he was the grand kleagel. He just did what he had to do.
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There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.
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Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
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My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes.
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I am a crazy online shopper. My husband always jokes, Another box arrived! Airplanes used to be my sanctuary for reading books, but now I have to peruse Gilt sales.
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
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I don't think any of us felt like, "Oh, we need to put joke songs on the record." If we found something funny, we would record it, and if we wanted to, we'd put it on the record. It's not really something we spent too much time agonizing over.
