Jon Stewart Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I'd heard stories about business managers who lost their client's money. My feeling was that if I made any money, I wanted to lose it myself, to be the author of my own demise.
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I tried to play rugby but was never very good.
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I'm the kind of person whose clothes are all hung up and color-coordinated, to the point where my whites don't touch my creams.
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I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks.
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I tried college and I hated that. I seem to quit everything I do.
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Who would set a limit to the mind of man? Who would dare assert that we know all there is to be known?
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I don't putt face-on exclusively, but in the back on my mind I'm haunted by the notion that I'm sure it's the best way to putt.
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I get the feeling that people from outside the world of contemporary art see it as deserving of mockery, in an emperor's-new-clothes sort of way. I think that's not right and that it's just because they don't understand the discourse.
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Knowledge is sometimes superfluous: when we need it, we have it not.
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Are you used to entertaining everyone with your tales of drama and conflict? Do you get attention and feel important every time you complain about how awful this man is? Stop settling for attention for the negative stuff in your life.
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I'm a plodder, one foot in front of the other. Life is all about understanding that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And it's your ability with how you deal with that adversity that ultimately affects your success.
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I take care of myself and take antioxidating supplements suggested by my best friend and first fan - he takes care of my Internet presence - Doctor Mario Rosario Porzio. I eat well - in fact, very well.
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To get into Afghanistan, I bribed my way into a camel caravan of smugglers.
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It was never the fame or fortune that drove me to act. It was something I love and enjoy doing it. A lot of people identify who they are by what they do and that's not me. It's what I do but not who I am. Who I am is a parent. I'm a family man.
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Don't get me wrong – I've gone to a club. But I'd much rather be with my close friends at home or a concert, or on a trip. I'll go dancing with my grandma. She likes to cut a rug!
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Kant taught us that we should follow just those rules of conduct that we would want everybody to follow. Few find this generalization of The Golden Rule a great help.
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Originally, I was against gay marriage because I was opposed to all marriage, being an old-fashioned gay bohemian. The straight people I knew in the sixties were very much opposed to it. I was, too, and it was never a possibility for gays, but when I saw how opposed the Religious Right was to it, I thought it a fight worth fighting.
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It's easy to say, 'I'm going to build something that already exists,' but it's difficult to clearly and succinctly describe something new.
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I always tell people that religious institutions and political institutions should be separate. So while I'm telling people this, I myself continue with them combined. Hypocrisy!
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Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying attention. Political humor works when people know what you're talking about.
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Jean Piaget observed that scarcely any question seems absurd to a child, but he was silent on the question of absurd answers from adults.
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This is the ultimate con game - I'm having fun and people pay me to do it.
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We've got a lot of pressure going. This is for my Latin counterpart.
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I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
