Jokes Quotes
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
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Passengers don't like changing planes. That means waiting time, stress, running around. There's a joke that the hub principle is supposed to have been invented by cargo firms. The baggage doesn't care where and how it's pushed around.
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I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.
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I was very shy as a kid but when I found out I could perform and have people's attention everything changed for me. My mom likes to joke that until I was eight or nine I only knew what my sneakers looked like because I constantly walked around with my head down. But all of a sudden the stage made sense and that's what brought me out of my shell and a monster was created.
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I never ceased to be surprised when southern whites, at their homes or clubs, told racial jokes and spoke so derogatorily of blacks while longtime servants, for whom they quite clearly had some affection, were well within earshot.
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Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.
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All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
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There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.
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People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.
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Life is a joke that's just begun.
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The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers.
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I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
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When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing . . . . Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
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I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg and the printing press. The difference is I have a tape recorder in my hand.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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The last man that makes a joke owns it.
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'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
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Then when we did the untitled record, we just didn't feel like putting joke stuff on it, so we didn't. It wasn't really a deliberation or a real introspective thing like, "Are we going to joke on this one, are we not going to joke on this one?" We just didn't feel like it on the untitled one, so we didn't.
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I do like rude jokes. They're men jokes.
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Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.
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I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
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I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
