Jokes Quotes
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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I was very shy as a kid but when I found out I could perform and have people's attention everything changed for me. My mom likes to joke that until I was eight or nine I only knew what my sneakers looked like because I constantly walked around with my head down. But all of a sudden the stage made sense and that's what brought me out of my shell and a monster was created.
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Passengers don't like changing planes. That means waiting time, stress, running around. There's a joke that the hub principle is supposed to have been invented by cargo firms. The baggage doesn't care where and how it's pushed around.
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
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Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.
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All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
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I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.
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Life is a joke that's just begun.
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People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.
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The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers.
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There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
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I never ceased to be surprised when southern whites, at their homes or clubs, told racial jokes and spoke so derogatorily of blacks while longtime servants, for whom they quite clearly had some affection, were well within earshot.
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'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
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Then when we did the untitled record, we just didn't feel like putting joke stuff on it, so we didn't. It wasn't really a deliberation or a real introspective thing like, "Are we going to joke on this one, are we not going to joke on this one?" We just didn't feel like it on the untitled one, so we didn't.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.
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I do like rude jokes. They're men jokes.
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I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.
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There are always a lot of jokes and good vibes floating through the studio so tattooing all day doesn't feel like a job. It's rewarding to see my clients as excited as I am.
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There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable
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When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing . . . . Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.
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I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg and the printing press. The difference is I have a tape recorder in my hand.
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There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.
