Jokes Quotes
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I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.
Sarah Silverman
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Passengers don't like changing planes. That means waiting time, stress, running around. There's a joke that the hub principle is supposed to have been invented by cargo firms. The baggage doesn't care where and how it's pushed around.
Stelios Haji-Ioannou
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I was very shy as a kid but when I found out I could perform and have people's attention everything changed for me. My mom likes to joke that until I was eight or nine I only knew what my sneakers looked like because I constantly walked around with my head down. But all of a sudden the stage made sense and that's what brought me out of my shell and a monster was created.
Justin Timberlake NSYNC
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
Lady Gaga
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Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.
Bart Millard MercyMe
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I never ceased to be surprised when southern whites, at their homes or clubs, told racial jokes and spoke so derogatorily of blacks while longtime servants, for whom they quite clearly had some affection, were well within earshot.
Walter Cronkite
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All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
Yahoo Serious
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Life is a joke that's just begun.
W. S. Gilbert
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There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.
Michael Scott
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I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.
Brian Molko Placebo
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People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.
Carl Reiner
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The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers.
Thomas Edward Yorke Atoms for Peace
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
Sandra Bernhard
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Then when we did the untitled record, we just didn't feel like putting joke stuff on it, so we didn't. It wasn't really a deliberation or a real introspective thing like, "Are we going to joke on this one, are we not going to joke on this one?" We just didn't feel like it on the untitled one, so we didn't.
Mark Hoppus Blink-182
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'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
Ziggy Marley
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I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg and the printing press. The difference is I have a tape recorder in my hand.
Studs Terkel
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When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing . . . . Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.
Naomi Weisstein
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I do like rude jokes. They're men jokes.
Engelbert Humperdinck
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The last man that makes a joke owns it.
Finley Peter Dunne
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Jack Roy
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I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.
Bill Burr
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Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
Bill Burr
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We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.
Walt Dohrn
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
Andy Roddick