Jokes Quotes
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Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.
Abraham Lincoln -
I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
Jim Gaffigan
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I am a rune a carrot a little joke
Walter Wykes -
Soames, for example, who suddenly broke away after twenty years’ teaching and went off to be jokes editor to a firm of matchbox manufacturers.
Edmund Crispin -
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari -
[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to see that.
Lee Seung-hyun Big Bang -
And there's so much extra material. I mean, I've certainly read as you asked about do I read reviews and stuff, like people are like none of the jokes in the trailers are like in the movie. And it's like and we have whole sequences and scenes that weren't in the movie.
Nicholas Stoller -
The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.
Orlando Aloysius Battista
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
Lady Gaga -
I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling."
Jim Gaffigan -
Basically I made her Sara Pocock listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I was talking about the art from...if you look at the art from George Clinton albums there are two or three artists he worked with...I made her listen to my album too so all the images are from jokes I made. I wanted it to look like the thoughts that are coming out of my brain which is what comedy is anyway.
Baron Vaughn -
I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
Boy George Culture Club -
Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
Stella Benson -
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one...
Marilyn Monroe
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All my jokes are cries for help.
Trixie Mattel -
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as cliches or old wives' tales do.
Jimmy Carr -
To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It's very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to be more than just funny, and more than just jokes about human gaseousness.
Neil Peart Rush -
I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it's a choice. You're in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke - or if you're on the road, go to a ball game... something that's going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
Bill Burr -
I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.
Drew Carey -
My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'
Carol Leifer
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I don't want to make compromises. I want my little silly jokes to be told with the correct punch line, and I'm satisfied trading off the immediacy to fulfill the detailed work of the artistic end of things.
Grant Hart Hüsker Dü -
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
Agnes Varda -
Even the gods love jokes.
Plato -
New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths.
George Bernard Shaw