Jokes Quotes
-
I had a healthy curiosity and would try things on - play lots of practical jokes. But it was more in my head - fantasies of "What would happen if...? Like what would happen in class if you took all your clothes off and you ran around the room?
-
I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself.
-
Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.
-
Women were invented ages ago, before the 1960s, because God realised very quickly that Adam needed an audience for his jokes.
-
I wouldn't want to be defined so much by comics or cartoons. My work is more narrative than that. If you take your basic cartoon, there's always a punchline or a joke at the end. My drawings don't depend on that so much.
-
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
-
Working at the magic shop really gave me a sense of comedy because it was all jokes.
-
I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
-
Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
-
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
-
When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.
-
secrets One of my secrets is to joke all the time.
-
I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
-
I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the Comedy Central Roasts for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.
-
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.
-
I guess the subject of race is so natural to me I never think of it as hefty. It's something I talk about and joke about and discuss with my loved ones every day of my life.
-
I adore jokes. They're a theatrical contrivance, but the irony of all fiction is that you approach reality by avoiding it a bit; you spoof it a bit.
-
I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane.
-
My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.
-
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
-
Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
-
One of the stock Sydney jokes is of the census-taker who enquires: 'How many children have you, ma'am?' 'Two living and three in Melbourne.'
-
Most of the time, the songs have jokes in them, little sarcastic things, or purposely kitsch or something. So that's going along with a story, like I do in life, just talking to myself and making fun of stuff and laughing at stuff that's serious. And sometimes it's a good idea to put the laughing into the songs. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's all right just to be serious. But most of the songs have some kind of joke in them.
-
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.
