Jokes Quotes
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I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.
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When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.
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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
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Even if you know a character really well, there's no formula for what jokes will work and what won't.
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I wouldn't want to be defined so much by comics or cartoons. My work is more narrative than that. If you take your basic cartoon, there's always a punchline or a joke at the end. My drawings don't depend on that so much.
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I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself.
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I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
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I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
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Women were invented ages ago, before the 1960s, because God realised very quickly that Adam needed an audience for his jokes.
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Basically I made her Sara Pocock listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I was talking about the art from...if you look at the art from George Clinton albums there are two or three artists he worked with...I made her listen to my album too so all the images are from jokes I made. I wanted it to look like the thoughts that are coming out of my brain which is what comedy is anyway.
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I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the Comedy Central Roasts for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.
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I got kind of scared when I thought they wanted me to do something... I didn't want to be naked on the front of a magazine unless everybody would know it was a joke. I wouldn't want to be naked even then.
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I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
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People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
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My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.
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Working at the magic shop really gave me a sense of comedy because it was all jokes.
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I adore jokes. They're a theatrical contrivance, but the irony of all fiction is that you approach reality by avoiding it a bit; you spoof it a bit.
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You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy.
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I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.
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I guess the subject of race is so natural to me I never think of it as hefty. It's something I talk about and joke about and discuss with my loved ones every day of my life.
