Jokes Quotes
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For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.
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secrets One of my secrets is to joke all the time.
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I had a healthy curiosity and would try things on - play lots of practical jokes. But it was more in my head - fantasies of "What would happen if...? Like what would happen in class if you took all your clothes off and you ran around the room?
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I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
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Women were invented ages ago, before the 1960s, because God realised very quickly that Adam needed an audience for his jokes.
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Women are often pushed into the idea that they write softer, more character-driven jokes.
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I am fun. I do have a good time. I have a good heart. I'm not all jokes. I'm a pretty serious person sometimes. I'm very very hardworking. I'm very academic.
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I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.
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I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane.
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I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the Comedy Central Roasts for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.
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I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels and tight skirts, and, boy, she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Momma used to say, "Aw, she's just trash," and I thought, That's what I want to be when I grow up. Trash.
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When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.
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Existentialists are monumentally and monotonously serious; they don't like to joke.
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I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
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For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It's absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view.
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I adore jokes. They're a theatrical contrivance, but the irony of all fiction is that you approach reality by avoiding it a bit; you spoof it a bit.
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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
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Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
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I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything from anybody. Jokes are no different.
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You're basically on set to help the production. You're helping the actors make it make sense, or maybe you wrote something that doesn't work in the production sense. Most of it is coming up with jokes.
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The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.
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I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.
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My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.
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There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.
