Bill Bailey (Mark Robert Bailey) Quotes
Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
Quotes to Explore
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I came to America to become an architect. And somewhere along the line while I was still in school, I was lured into theater, and that's how I became interested in theater. My first play was something called 'A Banquet for the Moon.' It was a weird play.
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I represent what I think is a traditional Republican... a limited government, fiscal responsibility, strong national defense, individual freedom and liberty.
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In 10 months, I was replaced from three films. That's when I realised I need to take my work seriously. It's a blessing I didn't get things easy. If I had, I wouldn't realise the value of success.
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You can't keep doing the same things when you get married and have a family. You have to slow down. You have to be responsible.
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If I could, I would not do anything else. I'd just be in the studio for my whole life. I would never go to parties, events, and red carpets. I would rather just be in the studio for the whole time. I don't even care. Nobody has to know what I look like. I just want to make music.
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The mediocre golfer generally is one who is too lazy to play better.
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My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.
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I've been told throughout my career that I have good instincts, and the idea of discovery and development in terms of a new artist is so exciting to me. Being only 25 and in a position where I might be able to grant opportunities is really cool.
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The Trojan War without Homer was nothing more than a battle over trade routes.
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I always enjoy watching Republicans compliment Bill Clinton now, because at the time, I'm sure he didn't feel a lot of the love.
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I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have no life! No wife, no kids, no pets - there's no room in there for anything!
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No disease is more dangerous than a bad husband, for if a woman catches that Pox, she'll languish from it her entire life.
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The mind is easily distracted; it loses its focus and becomes restless. If it is not directed positively, its power will be diffused.
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There are times when wisdom cannot be found in the chambers of parliament or the halls of academia but at the unpretentious setting of the kitchen table.
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The presence of others who see what we see and hear what we hear assures us of the reality of the world and ourselves.
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But there have been human hearts, constituted just like ours, for six thousand years. The same stars rise and set upon this globe that rose upon the plains of Shinar or along the Egyptian Nile and the same sorrows rise and set in every age.
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I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
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There's only a short walk from the hallelujah to the hoot.
