Jokes Quotes
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You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.
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At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state.
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I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.
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As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
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Never, never tell jokes about a man with easy access to weapons of mass destruction.
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My friends joke because I will take my clothes off, at the drop of a hat.
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
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I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate.
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A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it's no. When a woman says no, it's yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.
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I'm one of the most insecure people in the world, always have been, and when you're a fat kid, you try to make the fat jokes before other people make them.
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Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.
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Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.
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I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
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It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.
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I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
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In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.
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What sort of difficulties would happen when people of different cultures try to come together to worship? Tiny little things such as let's tell jokes with each other.
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There are things you do when you're writing that are so fun to do it's almost like they're private jokes that are amusing to you but no one else is going to enjoy them nearly as much and you worry you're going to have to take them out in the end.
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
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It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they've really become just comedies where the love story is only there as a spine to hang the jokes on.
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A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
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As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.
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What happens to the West happens to Snow White, which is to say they both turn into jokes.
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
