Jokes Quotes
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The reasons I never set out to do a talk show is they're formulaic. People come out, tell jokes and read questions. But that's not what I do, and we built the show around my skill set.
Harry Connick, Jr.
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You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.
Abe Burrows
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Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? The best thing that can be said of it is, that it is a sign of the intellectual narrowness—in plain English, the stupidity which is still the average mark of our culture.
George Eliot
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It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.
Bonnie McFarlane
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As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
Alex Hirsch
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I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
Bill Burr
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I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate.
Howie Mandel
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Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world.
Tommy Chong
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Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell real-life stories and make them funny. So, I'm not like the average comedian. They have an ending joke; they always holler Peace! I'm out of here, and walk off stage. So, basically, when I get through performing on stage, I just walk off.
Bruce Bruce
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.
Bruce Bruce
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I actually write some pretty tough jokes. I don't want to push the "soft" angle too much.
Allison Silverman
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A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it's no. When a woman says no, it's yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.
Erica Jong
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It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they've really become just comedies where the love story is only there as a spine to hang the jokes on.
Nigel Cole
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
Mila Kunis
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I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it - I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
