Jokes Quotes
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She laughed at bad jokes, stayed out too late, and overslept too often. Charity Hill loved holidays and she hated budgets and the alarm clock.
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If sex isn't a joke, what is it?
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I enjoy the way I look, but it's a joke.
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I'm fascinated by mankind. I grew up watching 'Candid Camera' and thought it was funnier than any standup, any joke, anything that could possibly be written because you're dealing with humanity. And people can relate to that. It touches everybody who sees it. It hits a nerve.
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I'm a goof. I talk too much. I tell stories. I tell cheesy Dad jokes. I'm theatrical and I'll mix things up and I'll surprise people. Those are the things that I just do because that's who I am.
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Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.
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There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
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It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
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I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.
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A joke isn't a joke until someone laughs.
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When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.
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Never, never tell jokes about a man with easy access to weapons of mass destruction.
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I love mixing humor and terror, or humor and exhaustion, or even humor and despair. I'm dealing right now with a loved one with cancer, and she's of course sad, but also telling the most disturbingly morbid jokes and puns. I love that, there's so much humanity in being able to mock fate and hardship.
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I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.
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I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.
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A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.
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A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it's no. When a woman says no, it's yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.
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I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.
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While 'The Middle' is still funny for adults to watch, there aren't sex jokes. And I'm fine with that. I like the idea that my nieces and nephews can watch it without their parents.
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I love to smile. I love to laugh. I like to hear jokes. For instance, when I'm on the road, every night I watch 'Seinfeld.' I find it somewhere. I think it's so funny, and I watch the repeats over and over again.
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Only the saints would joke so about the gods, because it was either joke or scream, and they alone knew it was all the same to the gods.
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Worse than jokes in the morning did she hate the idea of a husband.
