Jokes Quotes
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People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
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I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.
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It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
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There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.
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When you people have a set up joke and the joke is set up straight and the words are just well written, I always say "C'mon, humans don't speak that way."
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People can write jokes five minutes after a major world event happens, and have hundreds of thousands of people read them within 10 minutes. Whereas before you write a joke, you don't know if anybody is really touching on it or not, and you tell it onstage the next night. For joke writing it has changed things.
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I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.
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Stand-up life is really hard. At one point, I got so paralyzed I could write five screenplays before I could write three jokes for stand-up. Later, I've finally allowed myself to relax quite a bit, to think I can do it because I've done it in the past. The pressure to come up with the material is the same but the anxiety about whether I can do it is gone.
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The joke or the pratfall is easy for me to do.
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Worse than jokes in the morning did she hate the idea of a husband.
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If sex isn't a joke, what is it?
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I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.
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The reasons I never set out to do a talk show is they're formulaic. People come out, tell jokes and read questions. But that's not what I do, and we built the show around my skill set.
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People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh.
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Only the saints would joke so about the gods, because it was either joke or scream, and they alone knew it was all the same to the gods.
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Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.
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I make jokes. That's what I do.
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What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
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While 'The Middle' is still funny for adults to watch, there aren't sex jokes. And I'm fine with that. I like the idea that my nieces and nephews can watch it without their parents.
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I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
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The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.
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I love to smile. I love to laugh. I like to hear jokes. For instance, when I'm on the road, every night I watch 'Seinfeld.' I find it somewhere. I think it's so funny, and I watch the repeats over and over again.
