Jokes Quotes
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I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
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It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.
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If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.
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As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
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I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
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When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that's where all the good stories come from. That's where the jokes come from is from the shitty parts.
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
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I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good singers like the sound of their own voice" so we'll go with that.
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I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.
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High school wasn't a trial by fire or some ordeal that had to be survived. It was all a big joke. You just had to provide the laugh track.
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As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.
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I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.
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Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
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There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.
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In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
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I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.
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I come from a town of great musicians: Washington, D.C. It's no joke, that history.
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I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.
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Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.
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The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff.
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
