Jokes Quotes
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I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
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When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that's where all the good stories come from. That's where the jokes come from is from the shitty parts.
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As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
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Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
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It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.
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I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
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I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.
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There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.
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I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good singers like the sound of their own voice" so we'll go with that.
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I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.
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Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.
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I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
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As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
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High school wasn't a trial by fire or some ordeal that had to be survived. It was all a big joke. You just had to provide the laugh track.
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In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.
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The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff.
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When you people have a set up joke and the joke is set up straight and the words are just well written, I always say "C'mon, humans don't speak that way."
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
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I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
