Jokes Quotes
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I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.
Mike Scully
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Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
William Hazlitt
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Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world.
Tommy Chong
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What are the precise characteristics of an epigram it is not easy to define. It differs from a joke, in the fact that the wit of the latter dies in the words, and cannot therefore be conveyed in another language; while an epigram is a wit of ideas, and hence, is translatable. Like aphorisms, songs and sonnets, it is occupied with some single point, small and manageable; but whilst a song conveys a sentiment, a sonnet a poetical, and an aphorism a moral reflection, an epigram expresses a contrast.
William Matthews
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I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.
Mike Myers
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As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.
Michelle Wolf
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At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state.
Steve Martin
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
Carrot Top
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
Seth MacFarlane
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As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
Alex Hirsch
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I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
Kathleen Madigan
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There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.
Russell Peters
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Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.
Carrie Fisher
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I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good singers like the sound of their own voice" so we'll go with that.
Henry Rollins Black Flag
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I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.
Mila Kunis
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If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.
Haruki Murakami
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I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.
Sanjeev Bhaskar
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
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I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
Bill Burr
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It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they've really become just comedies where the love story is only there as a spine to hang the jokes on.
Nigel Cole
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
Sarah Silverman
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When you people have a set up joke and the joke is set up straight and the words are just well written, I always say "C'mon, humans don't speak that way."
Will Gluck
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Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.
Ben Miller