Michelle Wolf Quotes

United States, Comedian
June 21, 1985

Michelle Wolf is an American comedian, writer, producer, and television host. She worked as a contributor and writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. She spoke as the featured performer at the 2018 White House Correspondents' Dinner. She hosted the Netflix comedy talk show series The Break with Michelle Wolf.

Also known as Writer, Producer, Television Host

I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.

Michelle Wolf
- Think
- Writer
- Scared
I always almost miss my flight. My routine is to constantly, no matter how bad or good the traffic is, to almost miss my flight.

Michelle Wolf
- Always
- Almost
- Routine

The more confident I am, the more daring I am.

Michelle Wolf
- Confident
- Daring
When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky and trail mix constantly.

Michelle Wolf
- Road
- Hiking
- Constantly
A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.

Michelle Wolf
- Good
- Joke
- Kentucky
Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever.

Michelle Wolf
- Writing
- Forever
- Thing
People can be successful for a short period of time, but only a handful of people are successful for decades.

Michelle Wolf
- People
- Period
- Successful
Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?

Michelle Wolf
- Comedy
- Statement
- Turned

Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime.

Michelle Wolf
I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.

Michelle Wolf
- Different
- Being
- Would
A lot of people want Trump to be impeached. I do not. Because just when you think Trump is awful, you remember Mike Pence. Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.

Michelle Wolf
- Because
- Awful
- Anderson
Before comedy, I worked at a tech company, and before that, I worked on Wall Street. And, honestly, I've never really been sexually harassed.

Michelle Wolf
- Comedy
- Before
- Honestly
As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.

Michelle Wolf
- Woman
- Things
- Because