Jokes Quotes
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I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.
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Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect for myself.
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Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.
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I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
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Bill Clinton was doing Ku Klux Klan grand kleagel jokes at Byrd's funeral, saying, Oh, Robert C. Byrd, he used the - he was the grand kleagel. He just did what he had to do.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
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I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
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Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one group is hedged off and protected then that group can never truly be integrated.
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The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
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Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
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... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
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Nobody sold prints then and prices didn't mean anything. In terms of earning your living, it was a joke.
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You can make a movie that's more focused on the jokes, but Young Adult was not that kind of movie.
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And I watch all the dailies and I grade the jokes or the moments, you know, on a scale from... so I know exactly what we have. And so I can then go into the editing room and be like "I want you to do this moment, this moment, this joke, that joke. I'd like to see 3 versions."
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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I never told a joke in my life.
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The last man that makes a joke owns it.
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Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.
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Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke.
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There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.
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When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first cameback my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes.
