Jokes Quotes
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That's the Irish all over -- they treat a joke as a serious thing and a serious thing as a joke.
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The last man that makes a joke owns it.
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Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one group is hedged off and protected then that group can never truly be integrated.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
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Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.
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I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.
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The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.
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Hahaha, bitch you got jokes!
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I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.
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I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it's a choice. You're in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke - or if you're on the road, go to a ball game... something that's going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
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You can make a movie that's more focused on the jokes, but Young Adult was not that kind of movie.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
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I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.
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Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
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Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
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Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke.
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And I watch all the dailies and I grade the jokes or the moments, you know, on a scale from... so I know exactly what we have. And so I can then go into the editing room and be like "I want you to do this moment, this moment, this joke, that joke. I'd like to see 3 versions."
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Nobody sold prints then and prices didn't mean anything. In terms of earning your living, it was a joke.
