Jokes Quotes
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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A satirist is someone who has a very skeptical view of human nature, but who still has the optimism to make some sort of a joke out of it. However brutal that joke might be.
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I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
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Nobody sold prints then and prices didn't mean anything. In terms of earning your living, it was a joke.
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Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.
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And I watch all the dailies and I grade the jokes or the moments, you know, on a scale from... so I know exactly what we have. And so I can then go into the editing room and be like "I want you to do this moment, this moment, this joke, that joke. I'd like to see 3 versions."
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.
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Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect for myself.
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
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There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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The last man that makes a joke owns it.
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When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first cameback my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes.
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You can make a movie that's more focused on the jokes, but Young Adult was not that kind of movie.
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I never told a joke in my life.
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... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
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Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.
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Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke.
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My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes.
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I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling."
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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If you're from New Jersey, let people make all those bad jokes about our state. Don't let anyone know how great it is here. It's the best kept secret.
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Like everyone is either, "I grew up with it," or "I loved it," or loved them now. And when you watch The Muppet Movie now, it is so current. It's like The Simpsons before The Simpsons. It's not as cynical as The Simpsons would be but it's self-aware and there are a billion jokes, it breaks the fourth wall every five minutes, it's astounding, it's awesome. It's very exciting to be a part of that.
