Andy Samberg Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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Most jokes state a bitter truth.
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Sin is still sin - no matter how you spell it.
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All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work.' To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
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The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
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We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.
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People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.
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'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
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I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.
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Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial.
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... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
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The most important thing in life is to see to it that you are never beaten.
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There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
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On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.
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Gold has intrinsic value. The problem with the dollar is it has no intrinsic value. And if the Federal Reserve is going to spend trillions of them to buy up all these bad mortgages and all other kinds of bad debt, the dollar is going to lose all of its value. Gold will store its value, and you'll always be able to buy more food with your gold.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
