Andy Samberg Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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Most jokes state a bitter truth.
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Sin is still sin - no matter how you spell it.
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The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
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We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.
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People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually people who were in an environment, when they were young, where jokes were at a premium, or at least considered important to a life. My parents always listened to the comedy radio shows, we went to the comedy movies, and my parents appreciated comedy. So kids listen and follow what their parents like.
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'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
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I'll be the first to admit it, the life I'm leading is basically a joke. I should probably be cooler about it, but I can't fake it, you know?
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
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I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.
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Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial.
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... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
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I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am.
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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
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If everybody is happy, then something is wrong with the democratic process.
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My father was a misanthrope who slept all day and stayed up all night so that he wouldn't have to see people. He ran a business with a large staff but would go there at night and leave things for them to do during the day when he wasn't there.
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What the eyes sees, the ear hears, and the mind believes.
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As much as I enjoy traveling and playing on stage as an artist, I really find my true sense of purpose in a room writing a song.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
