My Wife Quotes
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Jack Roy
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I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
Jack Roy
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Jack Roy
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Jack Roy
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Jack Roy
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Yes, we three were so happy, my wife, my guitar and me!
Big Bill Broonzy
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I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".
Jack Roy
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I work hard to let my wife know how much I love her. I try to do that every day.
Darius Rucker
Hootie & the Blowfish
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I found out - the paper used to go to bed on Tues - on Monday. I found out that on Monday nights, the editors would cut out - literally cut out passages, sometimes whole paragraphs, of some of the writers that might possibly offend blacks, lesbians, gays, radicals. And I wrote a couple of columns about that. And they're - of course, they were annoyed that I had written about it, but, I mean, it - another example - and my wife Margot always also conjured that.
Nat Hentoff
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Jack Roy
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It drives me nuts how I rely on my wife for everything. I can't imagine a day without her!
Akshay Kumar
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I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.
Jack Roy
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
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My wife is been extremely supportive and when doubt creeps in, she's there pushing me along. She's helped me move up here, get all of my furniture and brought all my groceries. That's what marriage is about: supporting each other and helping each other reach our fullest potential.
Eddie George
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When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
Jack Roy
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My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
Jack Roy
