My Wife Quotes
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My wife is been extremely supportive and when doubt creeps in, she's there pushing me along. She's helped me move up here, get all of my furniture and brought all my groceries. That's what marriage is about: supporting each other and helping each other reach our fullest potential.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I knew A.J. Muste very well. I tried for a while to be like he was, and that is a total pacifist. But then Margot my wife hit me hard in the stomach one day to prove to me that I wasn't as perfect a pacifist as I thought I was.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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The mistake that I made was that I was engaged in a consensual relationship with a woman who was not my wife. That is a mistake for which I am very sorry.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
