My Wife Quotes
-
My wife doesn't even want to spend 2 hours with me.
-
My wife and kids maybe beg to differ, but I am generally a good guy.
-
My wife gives good headache.
-
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
-
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
-
Why do I want my wife to show off her panties when the wind blows? Horses show their behinds, and cows and mules, not humans.
-
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
-
I met my wife by breaking two of my rules: never date a girl seriously that you meet at a nightclub and never date a fan.
-
It's not in my nature to chop people's heads off, per se, or rob a bank or any crazy thing I've done on screen. I'm just comfortable reading a book or spending time with my wife and my daughter or watching the fight on TV with the fellas.
-
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
-
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
-
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
-
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
-
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
-
My wife and I, we like to ride where there's not much traffic.
-
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark.
-
My wife is my ultimate sexual fantasy. But there was this cute sheep back in Arclove ...
-
I felt rich when I was 20 years old and my wife was paying my bills. Just being in a band, I've always felt blessed.
-
I really enjoy sailing on Lake Geneva because I can just look at the shore and see my wife having a barbecue with the kids.
-
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
-
The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for my heart always alights upon the nearest perch.
-
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
-
I was raised in a religious environment, and my wife is one of the more religious people that I have ever known.
-
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
