My Wife Quotes
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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My wife and kids maybe beg to differ, but I am generally a good guy.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Why do I want my wife to show off her panties when the wind blows? Horses show their behinds, and cows and mules, not humans.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark.
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The mistake that I made was that I was engaged in a consensual relationship with a woman who was not my wife. That is a mistake for which I am very sorry.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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I am willing to remain and play the man's game if there are not enough boats for more than the women and children. Tell my wife I played the game straight out and to the end. No woman shall be left aboard this ship because Ben Guggenheim is a coward.
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I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
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I felt rich when I was 20 years old and my wife was paying my bills. Just being in a band, I've always felt blessed.
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My wife can look at me in a certain way and I can tell by her eyes how she's feeling about me or when I should stop talking about something. It's kind of the way twins have their own thing.
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My wife is a big fan of George Oppen and I got into him. I could have a career like his. It's not an alpha male situation, George Oppen. It's quiet. It's poetry.He just lived a life of an intellectual poet.
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Me and my wife had somehow finally reached a moment in which our lives made sense, in which we were comfortable in certain material ways, and in that very moment we were faced with a medical situation that could only really be resolved with death or time. Suddenly we had become these people who didn't drink anything but kale, who ended many of our conversations with tears, and for whom no future was guaranteed. It was kind of funny.
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The kind of crabbing my wife likes to do is to return from an afternoon's swim or sunbathing session, open the refrigerator door, and find a generous plate of crab cakes all ready to cook.
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I was raised in a religious environment, and my wife is one of the more religious people that I have ever known.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
