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Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the Circus.
Louise Rennison -
The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.
Louise Rennison
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I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.
Louise Rennison -
Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus
Louise Rennison -
If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!
Louise Rennison -
Maybe he overreacted a bit." - "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland".
Louise Rennison -
Look, I can't go out with you, because... because... because I'm a lesbian.
Louise Rennison -
What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?
Louise Rennison
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Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, "Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?
Louise Rennison -
Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.
Louise Rennison -
You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?
Louise Rennison -
I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.
Louise Rennison -
He said, "Hi, gorgeous," which I think is nice. I admire honesty.
Louise Rennison -
This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?
Louise Rennison
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You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!
Louise Rennison -
Love is a many trousered thing.
Louise Rennison -
Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?
Louise Rennison -
And that's when it fell off in my hand
Louise Rennison -
As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.
Louise Rennison -
Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.
Louise Rennison
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Heathcliff. The "hero" of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why. He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.
Louise Rennison -
I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?" Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'" I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.
Louise Rennison -
Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, "Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison -
I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.
Louise Rennison