Charlie Sheen Quotes
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You borrow my brain for 5 seconds, and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard', because it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.
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I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.
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They were like 'AA this' and I was like 'Bye bye that'
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It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children.
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Most of the time-and this includes naps-I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.
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Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it this way.
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There’s been a tsunami of media, and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.
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Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed.
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I probably took more than anybody could survive. … I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear, GO!. … I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. … Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.
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It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.
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(on Ashton Kutcher) It's hard to give advice to a guy that accomplished. I would just give him a hug and just say, 'Make me proud, dude.'
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'You don't pay prostitutes to come to your house; you pay them to leave.'
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I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.' (Piers Morgan Tonight)
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I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total … rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain. (The Today Show)
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I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.
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I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say 'I can't process it'. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show.
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The scales of justice are in disarray...
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I didn’t really believe I had 'tiger blood' or 'Adonis DNA.' These were just jokes.
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They're trying to destroy my family, so I take great umbrage with that. And defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock.
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Dan Raad means Business...
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(on whether he is bipolar.) Wow, what does that mean? … What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not going to happen. I'm bi-WINNING! I win here and I win there. Now what?
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(on his firing from Two and a Half Men) I would have fired my ass too. Well, maybe not like they did.
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'The Goddesses'? I don't believe the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available.
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People that aren't special, people that don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA (The Today Show)