Aziz Ansari Quotes
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Quotes to Explore
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We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed.
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Tar sands oil is the dirtiest fuel on Earth. Because producing it consumes so much energy, a gallon of tar sands crude generates 17 percent more carbon pollution than conventional crude oil.
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I've just always been a bit of a dork.
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It's those moments when everything is on the line, and someone needs to show up in a big moment. I prepare my mind and I prepare my body to be ready for those moments. And I think it's just what I do. I live for those moments.
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I think encouraging young people to twerk might be a bad thing. It's a stripper's move. If I had a daughter of nine, I wouldn't want her twerking.
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Every government says they love small businesses, but what have they done for them? We should pull down all the barriers.
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No one is born evil; it's just the choices that they make.
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The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
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Water boarding: Is that like snowboarding?! 12.
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Those who think the information brought out at a criminal trial is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth are fools. Prosecuting or defending a case is nothing more than getting to those people who will talk for your side, who will say what you want said.
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Truly I don't know what a 60-year chap is supposed to feel. I like doing some of the things that my son does. I love the kind of clothes the young wear. I love going to their hangouts. I love to talk like them. I'd love to be included in their evenings out, I don't see myself in a rocking chair reading a book.
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Welcome to the world of bullshit, my dear. You have arrived.
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I find that life is easier when it is just a blurWith no details to confuse who or what or where I wasSo when the ending comes the full regret will be obscure
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Here in a little lonely roomI am master of earth and sea,And the planets come to me.
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We are over 60 percent water by weight. We're just a big ball of... blob of water, with enough organic thickener added so we don't dribble away on the floor.
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In some ways I was curt because there's an unbelievable amount to accomplish in a day.
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The political system loves the extremes, it doesn't so much show a lot love for the moderates.
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Many newly public companies are able to post a year or two of strong sales growth off a small base, but their growth almost always slows over time, thanks to what investment professionals call 'the law of large numbers.'
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I knew there was a way out. I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it. I knew there were other places, and there was another way of being.
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Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is.
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The most challenging work is producing. The physical act of getting a production up and running is extremely taxing, and you never have any guarantee that your years of work on any given project will ever bear fruit.
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When a story is flying along, and I'm so into it that my 'real' world goes away, it can feel magical. I cease to be, my desk and computer ceases to be, and I am my character in his world. Psychologists call this a 'flow state,' and it's better than publication, money, awards, fame.
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The human brain cannot release enough neurotransmitters to feel emotion a thousand times as strong as the grief of one funeral. A prospective risk going from 10,000,000 deaths to 100,000,000 deaths does not multiply by ten the strength of our determination to stop it. It adds one more zero on paper for our eyes to glaze over.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
