Aziz Ansari Quotes
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Quotes to Explore
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We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed.
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Tar sands oil is the dirtiest fuel on Earth. Because producing it consumes so much energy, a gallon of tar sands crude generates 17 percent more carbon pollution than conventional crude oil.
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I've just always been a bit of a dork.
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It's those moments when everything is on the line, and someone needs to show up in a big moment. I prepare my mind and I prepare my body to be ready for those moments. And I think it's just what I do. I live for those moments.
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I think encouraging young people to twerk might be a bad thing. It's a stripper's move. If I had a daughter of nine, I wouldn't want her twerking.
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Every government says they love small businesses, but what have they done for them? We should pull down all the barriers.
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No one is born evil; it's just the choices that they make.
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The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
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Water boarding: Is that like snowboarding?! 12.
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Those who think the information brought out at a criminal trial is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth are fools. Prosecuting or defending a case is nothing more than getting to those people who will talk for your side, who will say what you want said.
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Truly I don't know what a 60-year chap is supposed to feel. I like doing some of the things that my son does. I love the kind of clothes the young wear. I love going to their hangouts. I love to talk like them. I'd love to be included in their evenings out, I don't see myself in a rocking chair reading a book.
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Welcome to the world of bullshit, my dear. You have arrived.
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I find that life is easier when it is just a blurWith no details to confuse who or what or where I wasSo when the ending comes the full regret will be obscure
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Here in a little lonely roomI am master of earth and sea,And the planets come to me.
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We are over 60 percent water by weight. We're just a big ball of... blob of water, with enough organic thickener added so we don't dribble away on the floor.
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In some ways I was curt because there's an unbelievable amount to accomplish in a day.
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The political system loves the extremes, it doesn't so much show a lot love for the moderates.
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Many newly public companies are able to post a year or two of strong sales growth off a small base, but their growth almost always slows over time, thanks to what investment professionals call 'the law of large numbers.'
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Certainly we want to protect our children from new and painful experiences that are beyond their emotional comprehension and that intensify anxiety; and to a point we can prevent premature exposure to such experiences.
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I became a Conservative in the late 1980s because I could see that the Conservative party had transformed Britain's economy and our standing in the world compared to Labour in the 1980s.
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I think the most important thing journalism taught me is to mine for details. The details are key. You can't try to be funny or strange or poignant; you have to let the details be funny or strange or poignant for you.
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I can't think of any punk who's put on an acoustic and hasn't just tried to sound like James Taylor.
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If there's any guy crazy enough to attack me, I'm going to show him the end of the world -- close up. I'm going to let him see the kingdom come with his own eyes. I'm going to send him straight to the southern hemisphere and let the ashes of death rain all over him and the kangaroos and the wallabies.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
