Aziz Ansari Quotes
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Quotes to Explore
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We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed.
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Tar sands oil is the dirtiest fuel on Earth. Because producing it consumes so much energy, a gallon of tar sands crude generates 17 percent more carbon pollution than conventional crude oil.
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I've just always been a bit of a dork.
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It's those moments when everything is on the line, and someone needs to show up in a big moment. I prepare my mind and I prepare my body to be ready for those moments. And I think it's just what I do. I live for those moments.
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I think encouraging young people to twerk might be a bad thing. It's a stripper's move. If I had a daughter of nine, I wouldn't want her twerking.
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Every government says they love small businesses, but what have they done for them? We should pull down all the barriers.
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No one is born evil; it's just the choices that they make.
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The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
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Water boarding: Is that like snowboarding?! 12.
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Those who think the information brought out at a criminal trial is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth are fools. Prosecuting or defending a case is nothing more than getting to those people who will talk for your side, who will say what you want said.
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Truly I don't know what a 60-year chap is supposed to feel. I like doing some of the things that my son does. I love the kind of clothes the young wear. I love going to their hangouts. I love to talk like them. I'd love to be included in their evenings out, I don't see myself in a rocking chair reading a book.
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Welcome to the world of bullshit, my dear. You have arrived.
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Here in a little lonely roomI am master of earth and sea,And the planets come to me.
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We are over 60 percent water by weight. We're just a big ball of... blob of water, with enough organic thickener added so we don't dribble away on the floor.
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In some ways I was curt because there's an unbelievable amount to accomplish in a day.
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The political system loves the extremes, it doesn't so much show a lot love for the moderates.
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Many newly public companies are able to post a year or two of strong sales growth off a small base, but their growth almost always slows over time, thanks to what investment professionals call 'the law of large numbers.'
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The most I could hope for is to come and try and develop a character who is interesting, who is interesting to me, who is interesting to fans and who could contribute to the storytelling that is 'Law & Order: SVU.'
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I didn't want really to be involved in a normal soccer club.
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The humility keeps me going forward.
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I don't really love writing. I don't love the feeling of starting a new file. But I love the feeling of overcoming and accomplishing.
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When you get the high art of William Shakespeare and the greatest love story ever told, and you collision crash it with the low art of the tacky garden gnome, you're going to have lots and lots of opportunity for fun and putting your tongue very firmly in your cheek.
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… I would rather go out of politics having the feeling that I had done what was right than stay in with the approval of all men, knowing in my heart that I have acted as I ought not to.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
