Kevin Nealon Quotes
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I've done this commercial with Arnold Palmer. He doesn't play that much anymore, but it'd be fun to have him in the cart.
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I always tell people if you think you are susceptible to a blood clot, go check with your doctor.
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I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
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Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
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A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
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When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
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Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them.
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I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
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People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing, but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
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Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
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I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe.
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Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
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I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around.
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I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son.
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If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said.
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Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
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As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
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You don't want to throw out a good idea and have nobody get excited about it. It takes the wind out of your sails.
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Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites.
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Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone.
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You see things through a different lens when you have a child.
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I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
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I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another.
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Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson.