Kevin Nealon Quotes
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Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
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I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
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I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe.
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I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club.
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I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son.
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I always tell people if you think you are susceptible to a blood clot, go check with your doctor.
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To this day, I haven't felt like I've made it. I'm waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. I kind of feel like George Plimpton; I'm just experiencing this whole business with the really talented people.
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Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
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Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them.
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Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
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When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
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You don't want to throw out a good idea and have nobody get excited about it. It takes the wind out of your sails.
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I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around.
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People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing, but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
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Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
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I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
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As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
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Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone.
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If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said.
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You see things through a different lens when you have a child.
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Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites.
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I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman.
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I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another.
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I like YouTube; it's really entertaining. A lot of it is crappy stuff, but there are a couple diamonds in the rough there.