Kevin Nealon Quotes
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I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.
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I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still.
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I lived in Germany from when I was 6 until I was 10, so, of course, I played soccer. When I came back to the States, nobody played soccer, and none of the schools taught German, so I couldn't continue to excel in those categories.
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When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I was so happy. Especially as I was just a guest star in the pilot. But once it got picked up, they made me a regular cast member.
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What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing.
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Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them.
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When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.
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I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman.
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Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
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My heart started running away, like a pack of horses. Then it slowed down and became irregular.
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I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
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A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.
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I've done this commercial with Arnold Palmer. He doesn't play that much anymore, but it'd be fun to have him in the cart.
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I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.
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It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you.
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A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages.
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People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing, but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
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I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it.
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I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe.
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A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
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I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.
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I just loved stand-up comics as a kid. I'd watch them on 'The Tonight Show,' and I thought what a great craft it was to come out on stage with no instrument or anything and be able to entertain people.
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A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
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I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club.