Daniel Handler Quotes
The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.

Quotes to Explore
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I would love it if people could look at chubby folks with all of our curves, bumps and ridges and just say 'She's beautiful' just like that. You don't have to get on a treadmill as long as your blood pressure is under control and you eat healthy, God bless.
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All who consult on doubtful matters, should be void of hatred, friendship, anger, and pity.
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Insight enables you make sure you don't allow negative beliefs to get permanently set in your thinking - just the same way you wouldn't want fractured bones to be permanently set into place.
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People sort of went crazy when 'BTWAM' came out. I'm happy a bunch of people read it. I'm happy it touched so many people. I'm less happy that it became an object for certain folks or was discussed that way. I'm less happy that journalists started scrolling through my kid's Instagram account.
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I didn't want to be a slave to any passion anymore. I gave up card playing altogether, even bridge and gambling - more or less. It took me a few years to get out of it.
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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.
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A damn independent boy; independent as a hog on ice.
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An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
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There's so much pressure, but I think if you really love it, if you truly love it, and it's your passion to sing, then that's what will get through. I think if you don't have that, you'll realise quickly.
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Maybe it will be a great thing when the Baby Boomers finally die out. In real life, it's not a matter of the good guys or the bad guys. Rather, it's big numbers and small numbers that do the counting.
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I did not want to go out at 5:30 in the morning with my stocking cap and my navy pea coat on and shoot lines and grades for the rest of my life.
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I've always gone for the more sensitive, bookish guy, totally. The jock boys, the sporty guys, I don't know... they just didn't do it for me.
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'Sesame Street's' genius lies in finding gentle ways to talk about hard things - death, divorce, danger - in terms that children understand and accept.
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The drama and the trauma of the relationship you have when you're 16 can mirror the one you have when you're 26. Life repeats itself.
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Following the creation concept that creation processes differed from preservation processes, it is suggested that God endowed each created kind, at the time of its creation, with potential for vast variety.
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People who really try to be conscious of what they have done, who take responsibility, to me these kinds of people are heroes.
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Well yes so far, I was recently in Germany and they had me do six book signings a day and that was too much so I had them cut it down to about three. It becomes taxing at times but its a lot of fun and you meet a lot of nice people.
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People always say that you can't please everybody. I think that's a cop-out. Why not attempt it? 'Cause think of all the people you will please if you try.
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Each additional idea is a gift to the future. Each additional idea producer is a source of wealth for future generations.
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Eloquence is heard; poetry is overheard ... All poetry is of the nature of the soliloquy.
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At school I had only admirers; I had no friends.
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Like many people in Britain, I have an affectionate respect for the Queen, and am surprised that I should be having such republican thoughts.
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The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.