Daniel Tosh Quotes
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.

Quotes to Explore
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We were talking about how old quarterbacks can't throw before 10 am... Practice starts too early for us. Wake me up in the middle of the night and I can throw. I can throw anytime.
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It is absolutely impossible to settle the debts to pensioners, teachers, and others. The country hasn't got enough money to do so.
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I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself.
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You must always do what you feel is right.
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There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone.
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The Law of Triviality... briefly stated, it means that the time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
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People still kill in the name of religion. We haven't evolved to the point where we're one tribe called humans.
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All of my life I have stayed away from violence and the instruments of violence, and have seen a legal, democratic struggle as the only means to achieve change.
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A woman caring for her children; a woman striving to excel in the private sector; a woman partnering with her neighbors to make their street safer; a woman running for office to improve her country - they all have something to offer, and the more our societies empower women, the more we receive in return.
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So I saw many planets, and they looked just a little bit brighter than they do from Earth.
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Twitter is all about user experience - the fact that it is so easy, so clean, so unencumbered has won it so many users and fans, for so many different reasons.
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I remember having my father stand over me when I had driven over my own foot; one leg was out of the car and one leg was in the car. He looked at me and told me that I was a drunk and that he was ashamed to call me his son. That night, I stopped drinking and I never drank again; I was twenty four.
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If there's another 9/11 or a major war in the Middle-East involving a U.S. attack on Iran, I have no doubt that there will be, the day after or within days an equivalent of a Reichstag fire decree that will involve massive detentions in this country.
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I think most people have creative ideas and have very strange, unorthodox impulses of things that they can do with their lives. I've had many of these over the years, but I decided the more important question was, 'When did I start calling this art?'
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It was a complex endeavor so without Robert Redford's constant support we wouldn't have gotten to the end.
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My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid.
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This job certainly doesn't win you a huge amount of friends, I accept that, but it is very enjoyable, and deep down I think it's probably quite a worthwhile job.
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I've already fought my share. God gave me a rich, eventful career, and I thank God for everything, but I'm done fighting.
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I gave up the love of learning for the love of oblivion-the two cannot live together.
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I'm a Republican. I'm running in a Republican primary.
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I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar.
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To defy the authority of empirical evidence is to disqualify oneself as someone worthy of critical engagement in a dialogue.
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New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
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I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.